I am the Second Coming of Christ

[Anachronous Rex]

It's not an exhaustive list, but...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_messiah_claimants

Precisely what do you have over any of these?

 

[theatheistguy]

You have '666' scars on your forehead?
Pix or it didn't happen!


The number is 666, and not 616, because that is what is on your forehead?
And that matters because? Why do some manuscripts (notably the oldest ones we have) have 616?


Also, why does Jesus need to see a shrink? And why do you call yourself Jesus and not your actual name, Yeshua?

 

[Laurens]

You have '666' scars on your forehead?
Pix or it didn't happen!


The number is 666, and not 616, because that is what is on your forehead?
And that matters because? Why do some manuscripts (notably the oldest ones we have) have 616?


Also, why does Jesus need to see a shrink? And why do you call yourself Jesus and not your actual name, Yeshua?

And what are you doing on the internet, don't you have better things to do?

 

[Timothy]

I do think bringing life into the world is immoral. My saying is- 'I love my children so much I will never bring them into the world'.

As I said before there is no burden of proof on me. If I am then I am, If I'm not then I'm not. There isn't anything I have to prove or do. Only what I will prove and what I will do.

Dear Anachronous. Precisely what I have over all of those is that I am the Second Coming of Christ and they are not.

It did happen theatheistguy regardless of whether there are any pics or not if you don't believe me this is fine.

I don't care about the Manuscripts. In the film it's 666.

I don't call myself Jesus I call myself Tim Knight because that's my name. My name isn't Jesus. Also many scholars believe Jesus of Nazareth's name was Jesus not Yeshua.

Dear Laurens. No I don't have better things to do.

 

[Laurens]

Dear Laurens. No I don't have better things to do.

You're Jesus man! You could be bathing in wine with hot chicks all day, impressing them with your miracles...

 

[Timothy]

I'm not Jesus I'm Tim Knight.

 

[theatheistguy]

My first post I called Poe, not to repeat myself, but Poe!

 

[Timothy]

What are you writing about? What does 'Poe' mean?

 

[Light]

My first post I called Poe, not to repeat myself, but Poe!

Yeah, a guy who claims to be TSCC (that's 'The Second Coming of Christ' not 'The Sarah Connor Chronicles'), on a forum, with a large atheist contingent, using good spelling, grammar and formatting, yet also used the word 'pics' in response to an earlier post? To me, that's like when writers portray simple or naive characters as parroting speech and phrases, misinterpreting social situations. Equally with otherworldly or foreign characters in a new culture.

Troll/Poe.

 

[TheFlyingBastard]

Well, I'm convinced. Guess I'm not an atheist anymore.

 

[Anachronous Rex]

Well, I'm convinced. Guess I'm not an atheist anymore.

Me too, clearly this guy's legit.

 

[Laurens]

Well, I'm convinced. Guess I'm not an atheist anymore.

Me too, clearly this guy's legit.

Same...

Tim dude, can we be your disciples?

 

[Prolescum]

I do believe that I am the Messiah. I may be right or I may be wrong. I don't know.

Indeed.

I do think bringing life into the world is immoral.

Oh?

I am the bread of life.

So you are immorality's sustenance, eh? That's some mind-blowing irony, dude.

My name is Timothy James Knight and I am the Second Coming of Christ.

You do realise that in the novel Jesus didn't die again after his resurrection, right? He actually ascended and therefore wouldn't reincarnate in someone else's body...

Because that's the number on my forehead and I'm the Antichrist.

I see. The anti-Christ fools all the believers by pretending to be the second coming of Christ, right...?

You, sir, need to read more and fuck about less.

 

[australopithecus]

+1

 

[Story]

No guys.... This guy is right!

Seriously, you'll see soon. I know this because I'm the third coming of Christ and I have seen the future showing me his miracle. This may be hard to believe for some of you, especially coming from the both of us but I met up with the 4th and 5th comings of Christ and they told me the same thing.

It's really amazing, because a few years ago, before I knew I was the 3rd coming, I was talking with the 8th coming of Christ and he told me that I'd go to a discussion board, which was one among millions on the internet, and some how on that one board there would be an important message that was relevant to the whole world, but that it would be absolutely incredulous and no one on the board would believe it. I didn't believe him right away because I hadn't become the 3rd coming of Christ yet so he teleported me to the 9th coming of Christ who gave me a scouter so I could measure their power levels and I found out that they were both over 9000!

Of course from a skeptics point of view, merely being teleported and shown power levels didn't really demonstrate anything relative to being a coming of Christ, so I asked them to show me demonstrable empirical evidence of their divinity. They both looked at each other in confusion and then said that they could perform any miracle I wanted, but they weren't sure how to demonstrate it in a way that would show that it was related to them being the 8th and 9th comings. Clearly, I had won the argument... but just then a huge dragon, satan, appeared and shot a huge fireball from his mouth at me. The 9th coming quickly jumped in the way and deflected the fireball with a impenetrable wall of wine, but the wall wasn't impenetrable enough, the fireball shot through it and hit the 9th coming and sent him flying far back beyond my sight. The 8th coming pulled out two swords and jumped at Satan swinging his blades wildly. I thought he may have had a chance, but at that moment I saw Satan's power level and it was six hundred and sixty six million six hundred and sixty six thousand six hundred and sixty six (666,666,666). The 8th coming would certainly lose. He shouted at me as Satan waved his hand of destruction just before being torn to pieces.

"YOU ARE THE THIRD COMING!", And he died.

And then satan moved his hand towards me, aiming for my head. I was frozen with fear. As his hand drew closer my body began to tremble and tears seeped through the nicitating membrane in the sides of my eyes. His hand came only inches away from my forehead when I realised it. I was the third coming... I exploded with passion, energy and love and grasped the hand of satan. He shrieked as I twisted his finger... my power level was at 70 sextillion (The amount of stars we can see in the sky). With my existence, satan no longer had a purpose. So I kept a hold of his finger as he tried to flee and I flew with him through our atmosphere past our solar system and alongside many other star's systems till I deposited him in the super massive black hole in the center of Andromeda.

As you can see, my story is more impressive than simply having 666 on my forehead.

 

[Light]

snip.

Well, it was better than Passion of the Christ.

 

[Exmortis]

...what I have over all of those is that I am the Second Coming of Christ and they are not.

...Okay, you intend to convince us that you are the second coming of Christ...
...And you know that you are the second coming of Christ because you are the second coming of Christ...
...And your supporting evidence for the premise that you are the second coming of Christ is that you are the second coming of Christ...


...Where to begin.


1) Are you joking?

2) No, seriously are you joking?!

 

[Story]

...what I have over all of those is that I am the Second Coming of Christ and they are not.

...Okay, you intend to convince us that you are the second coming of Christ...
...And you know this because you are the second coming of Christ...
...And your supporting evidence for the premise that you are the second coming of Christ is that you are the second coming of Christ...

But to be fair, you must admit that if he wasn't the second coming of Christ then clearly he couldn't be the second coming of Christ.

snip.

Well, it was better than Passion of the Christ.

I do my best

 

[Timothy]

I'm not a 'troll' or a 'poe'. A troll is someone who causes disruption on an internet forum not someone whose views are unusual. This is the thread I've started. If you don't like it don't read it.

You can be my disciples if you want.

The Bible isn't a novel Prolescum. Novels didn't appear until 1000AD the Bible was written before that.

I don't believe in everything in the Bible. In fact I believe in very little of it.

Dear story. There are six stages to Paradise. In the first Paradise I will be the third coming of Christ. In the sixth stage of Paradise I will be the eighth coming of Christ.

Dear exmortis. I don't intend to convince you that I am the Second Coming of Christ. I believe you will believe that I am the Second Coming of Christ but through your own thoughts not through me convincing you.

I don't know that I am the Second Coming of Christ. I believe that I am the Messiah because of the reasons I explained in my initial message and for other reasons.

I am not joking.

 

[Squawk]

Someone's going to have to convince me there was a first coming of Christ before we get into all the second coming stuff. Unless there is cake, I can be persuaded with cake. Make it good, or I might eat the reply button on this thread.