If God Was Real, Would You Worship?

[Pandawa]

I'd be willing if i was given beer and strippers in heaven. if not no

 

[Aught3]

If God exists and he's as evil as we've been told, I'm screwed.

 

[Yfelsung]

If heaven doesn't already have mandatory beer and strippers, it's not heaven.

If heaven exists, I expect it to be made of fluffy clouds of pure cocaine split by rivers of beer and every forest will just be a combination of every smokable and consumable plant that causes intoxication.

Heaven better be me fucked up for eternity or I'm calling bunk.

This is why I've never bought the heaven idea:

"But, if you don't believe in God you can't go to heaven!"
"Can I sin in heaven?"
"No silly, you wouldn't want to."
"You obviously don't know me well enough to make that statement."

I don't do drugs because I hate my life. I do drugs because I fucking love drugs and heaven better have a large supply.

 

[Inferno]

If God exists and he's as evil as we've been told, I'm screwed.

And me.

I'd be willing if i was given beer and strippers in heaven. if not no

Screw the strippers. Screw virgins. What do you want to do with any of them?
I'd take some propper whores, who know their business.

(Not my view btw, that's Conolly's.

 

[masterjedijared]

Besides if there were an afterlife I'd very much prefer Valahalla! Or warhammer 40k. So vikings or space vikings. IN HEAVEN.

XD

I also have occasional issues with authority, Yfel. It's gotten me into trouble from time to time :3

 

[Anachronous Rex]

Probably not; it sort of depends on the God.

I mean, I realize that we're talking about the Abrahamic God, but it's not like the guy is terribly consistant. I might consider (mind you I said consider) worshiping the God of the Beatitudes; the God of Exodus is worthy of nothing less than Promethean rebelion.

 

[twoism]

Abrahamic creator of everything

son, you know it was me who brought you in to existence and so you better be damn well aware of it. in fact i want you worship me, not just now, but until the end of time. everything you do or have done is due my action, and you must give thanks to this action everyday. and you will have no questions to my authority.

and, my dear boy, if you have any objections to my rule, then i'll have you tortured forever. unless i'm feeling jewish in which case you'll just be banished from the household. you can't be part of my family if you disagree with me on any matter.

yeah i think i'll pass on worshipping. or maybe do what you said and try and one up the old guy and overthrow him (hey he couldn't move iron chariots so it's not impossible!).

 

[DepricatedZero]

If god was real I'd go all Kelsier on him.

 

[lrkun]

Yes. Because he/she will take my entire people hostage if I don't comply.

Be a pet or meet the pound.

 

[Zoten001]

I don't think I'm capable of worship. The minute someone tries to exert authority on me my knee joint locks into an upright position and I start standing a little taller.

Agreed completely, though oddly enough it's never gotten me into trouble, but has actually helped me a lot.

 

[Yfelsung]

I don't think I'm capable of worship. The minute someone tries to exert authority on me my knee joint locks into an upright position and I start standing a little taller.

Agreed completely, though oddly enough it's never gotten me into trouble, but has actually helped me a lot.

Never got me in much real trouble, just made certain situations more difficult.

If I could go back and do high school again, I'd have just stfu, kept my head down and powered through 2 years quicker than I did. Same with my dad when I was younger, the arguing really accomplished nothing when I could have just subverted his authority in less confrontational ways.

There's pride in standing tall and facing your would-be-oppressor, but there's intelligence in faking a bent knee if only to be in a better position to stab their back when they turn.

Cloak and dagger generally gets a man further than all balls and glory.

 

[RedYellow]

This is a hard question for me, actually. I mean what theists don't realize is how, making life about this one, singular goal, (praising God, going to heaven and praising God some more forever) does really render it so meaningless, because it destroys all other possibilities, and it can't be necessary for any further purpose anyway. I guess on a practical level, I don't want to go to hell, but I also don't feel like I could honestly love the God of any religion, so I guess I'd be screwed anyway.

 

[Inferno]

CAREFUL: This is all another form of Pascal's Wager. God can see into your mind anyway, so It'd see you lying when you're worshiping. That's commandment one and nine broken if it's the Christian God and just general lying if it's any other God. You'd go to hell, whether you worship or not. (In most cases, barring of course the cases where God only cares whether you worship or not, not whether or not you're sincere.)

 

[televator]

If he really can read people's minds then heaven would surely be a mostly empty place anyway. Even the folks who just do what he says out of fear would be sent to hell or limbo or whatever... It would take the most zombified and/or intellectually challenged people to accept authority absolutely without the slightest "thought crime." Given that, I might as well be upfront and tell him what an idiot I think he is. :lol:

 

[Krazyskooter]

If he really can read people's minds then heaven would surely be a mostly empty place anyway. Even the folks who just do what he says out of fear would be sent to hell or limbo or whatever... It would take the most zombified and/or intellectually challenged people to accept authority absolutely without the slightest "thought crime." Given that, I might as well be upfront and tell him what an idiot I think he is. :lol:

Christians believe that Christ is the mediator for their thought crimes and other sins that are punishable by hell. If you ever heard a Fundi tell you they're covered by the blood, that's what they are talking about. The Baptists anyway, Pentacostles believe that you can lose the salvation if you sin, so if you cussed while getting in a car wreck you're ass is eternal toast.

 

[the_morbidus]

of course not, he is a giant douche!!!
such a prick could suck my left......

anyways lets assume that god is actually nice, god is the creator of everything including us, still that is not enough reason to worship god simply because i have a choice, if god really wanted everyone to worship him then he should make us with a built in god detector and make us automatons.

anyways back to reading a book and not caring about god.

 

[Andiferous]

The idea of worship seems inextricably entwined with organised religion and politics, so the question may as well be "if god was true, would you join a religion."

I would not do so, but as Nash said earlier, my respect and relationship would depend on who god revealed itself to be.

 

[Exmortis]

I don't care what manner of god he is I would oppose him with every resource.

I would raise a rebel army called the League of reason and I would lead these brave freethinking men and women on a bloody and terrible crusade to obliterate god and all of this followers.

 

[Andiferous]

Like atheist jihad. The crusade for reason!

 

[Exmortis]

Totally... now we are the terrorists.

It's like some messed up Planet of the Apes parody!