FaithlessThinker
New Member
I am an irreligious male (you can call me an atheist) and I am married to a Wiccan wife. She was Wiccan before I met her, and she fell in love with me because I accepted her the way she is. She comes from a family one of the major world religions, and her parents rejected her Wiccan faith.
I generally has no problem with her practicing her faith and believing what she wants to believe. I mean you can believe JFK was a fart, but as long as you don't conspire to kill a JFK supporter, world peace exists.
The problem comes when she mentions something related to her faith, and when I show indifference or express my opinion, she flips and gets upset. She complains that I don't accept her the way she is and am being hostile towards her. Sometimes it would end up with her saying "Whatever, I don't want to hear it." To this, I have remarked "That's what every religious person says."
The reason why I am here is because I need help to make her think. It is quite hard to make a Christian or a Hindu think about the fallacies of the tenets of their respective religions. I find it's the same with a Wiccan.
To give a brief overview about her beliefs, she believes in supernatural beings, in gods and goddesses. She has a Mother Goddess, and she converses with Lucifer. Note: I read the name Lucifer was created by influence of Christianity's witch hunts, and simply refers to the Horned God of Wicca, not Satan (embodiment of evil in Christianity).
She believes in fairies (spelt as faeries) and magic (spelt as magick). She says there are fairies around us in this real world. Fairies are not the only things. I remember her mentioning gypsies and such as well.
Once we were in a tourist island and were at a lone spot. I wanted to take a leak and as the public toilet was quite far away, I decided to take advantage of the bushes nearby. I told her about it and she said "Okay, but please ask permission first." I exclaimed "If I have to ask permission to something I don't believe in, I'd rather go to the toilet." We had a little argument after that over the issue.
Another time recently, we were having food and I was having a noodles-in-soup preparation. Towards the end, at one point I said "I feel full" and stopped eating. Then I looked down at the bowl and saw two pieces of noodles have formed the shape of an Ankh. Knowing that this would be meaningful to my wife, I pointed it to her and even suggested her to take a photo. She was happy.
A while later she said "You know I want to tell you something, but what's the point, since you don't believe in Wicca anyway. I wish I had married a Wiccan." This upset me, and I was like "Why can't you just share what you want to share? And now you feel I'm not good enough for you?". We had a quick argument over the issue for the next few minutes, and it ended with her saying "Whatever don't talk to me" and me changing the topic.
I let her have her beliefs and practice them. I let her keep her religious symbols and I handle her religious materials with care. Because I may not believe in them being any more than just objects like any other, I know she reveres them and I respect that. I would handle a "Holy Bible" belonging to a Christian the same way too, because he reveres it, even though to me it's just another book.
I have agreed to take her to a Wiccan store. I have allowed her to buy some Wiccan materials. I have even agreed to do handfasting (Wiccan marriage) even though later on we decided not to do that.
My question to everyone here is, how do I question her beliefs while ensuring that it doesn't harm our relationship? She is generally receptive of what I have to say and will listen. So she's not a hardline fundamentalist. She would listen to and think about what I tell her. But sometimes, especially when it comes to what she wants to believe, she puts up her hands and stops me.
I generally has no problem with her practicing her faith and believing what she wants to believe. I mean you can believe JFK was a fart, but as long as you don't conspire to kill a JFK supporter, world peace exists.
The problem comes when she mentions something related to her faith, and when I show indifference or express my opinion, she flips and gets upset. She complains that I don't accept her the way she is and am being hostile towards her. Sometimes it would end up with her saying "Whatever, I don't want to hear it." To this, I have remarked "That's what every religious person says."
The reason why I am here is because I need help to make her think. It is quite hard to make a Christian or a Hindu think about the fallacies of the tenets of their respective religions. I find it's the same with a Wiccan.
To give a brief overview about her beliefs, she believes in supernatural beings, in gods and goddesses. She has a Mother Goddess, and she converses with Lucifer. Note: I read the name Lucifer was created by influence of Christianity's witch hunts, and simply refers to the Horned God of Wicca, not Satan (embodiment of evil in Christianity).
She believes in fairies (spelt as faeries) and magic (spelt as magick). She says there are fairies around us in this real world. Fairies are not the only things. I remember her mentioning gypsies and such as well.
Once we were in a tourist island and were at a lone spot. I wanted to take a leak and as the public toilet was quite far away, I decided to take advantage of the bushes nearby. I told her about it and she said "Okay, but please ask permission first." I exclaimed "If I have to ask permission to something I don't believe in, I'd rather go to the toilet." We had a little argument after that over the issue.
Another time recently, we were having food and I was having a noodles-in-soup preparation. Towards the end, at one point I said "I feel full" and stopped eating. Then I looked down at the bowl and saw two pieces of noodles have formed the shape of an Ankh. Knowing that this would be meaningful to my wife, I pointed it to her and even suggested her to take a photo. She was happy.
A while later she said "You know I want to tell you something, but what's the point, since you don't believe in Wicca anyway. I wish I had married a Wiccan." This upset me, and I was like "Why can't you just share what you want to share? And now you feel I'm not good enough for you?". We had a quick argument over the issue for the next few minutes, and it ended with her saying "Whatever don't talk to me" and me changing the topic.
I let her have her beliefs and practice them. I let her keep her religious symbols and I handle her religious materials with care. Because I may not believe in them being any more than just objects like any other, I know she reveres them and I respect that. I would handle a "Holy Bible" belonging to a Christian the same way too, because he reveres it, even though to me it's just another book.
I have agreed to take her to a Wiccan store. I have allowed her to buy some Wiccan materials. I have even agreed to do handfasting (Wiccan marriage) even though later on we decided not to do that.
My question to everyone here is, how do I question her beliefs while ensuring that it doesn't harm our relationship? She is generally receptive of what I have to say and will listen. So she's not a hardline fundamentalist. She would listen to and think about what I tell her. But sometimes, especially when it comes to what she wants to believe, she puts up her hands and stops me.
