What if a god does exist?

[Frenger]

Just a hypothetical.

Say you die and you find yourself in a kind of heaven in front of say, the god of the bible (new testament god, not the knobend of the old testament), what would you say?

 

[Prolescum]

"I have no interest in eternal life; how does one extricate themselves from this nightmare of perpetual nothing?"

Or

"That's not a knife; that's a knife."

Or perhaps

"Pinecones: how do they work?"

Maybe

"I'm not interested in you, where's Richard O'Brian?"

Although, maybe

"Who do I have to satisfy sexually to get a guitar? There's no sex? Then how the fuck do I get hold of a guitar?"

 

[Laurens]

I'd say: "Jesus Christ!"

 

[WarK]

"Bloody hell, not again!"

 

[CEbbesen]

"Show me the proof!"

 

[Logic-Nanaki]

"But the babelfish is a dead giveaway..."

 

[nudger1964]

"ok - where's the camera?"

 

[Epiquinn]

"Sir, taking me a hostage will be your last mistake! You're already a wanted man in the International Criminal Court in the Hague!"

 

[)O( Hytegia )O(]

"What? Why are you surprised that I'm going to hell?
You're the one who made yourself just as believable as Wodin, or the various other spirits I wo-
Wait, they are real? Then why the balls am I doing here? I'm supposed to be facing judgement based upon whether I was a good person or not, and then given the boot or placed in the afterlife in an extended reincarnation line. :I"

 

[theyounghistorian77]

"Yesterday Stalin arrived in Hell. Im the First refugee"

 

[atheisthistorian]

How about, "Oh NOW you want to show yourself."

 

[Frenger]

A butthole says what?

 

[Prolescum]

"Oh! ye'll take the high road and Ah'll take the low road, and Ah'll be in Scotland afore ye; but me an' my true love will never meet again on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."

 

[The Felonius Pope]

I'd ask him how he came into being.

 

[Visaki]

"So these creationists. Your idea, eh?"

or maybe

"Why did you make me an atheist?"

 

[Laurens]

"I demand to speak to my lawyer"

 

[CommonEnlightenment]

"Can you supply a proper diagram and flowchart for that trinity thing."

 

[CommonEnlightenment]

Two things:

1. I would want to go to the Pearly gates wearing this bad boy:

Still not convinced , Mostly because I would not want to fall for the either/or fallacy.


2. If I was wrong I would then change my T-Shirt in route:

Got Forgiveness?

 

[Nom_de_Plume]

I'd expect him to provide some sort of credentials.
I'm not going to just take the word of someone claiming to be GOD even if he's standing in front of me with glowing robes or whatever.
I imagine technology exists that could easily fool the average human. I'd still want proof that he is the GOD of the bible and supposedly my creator.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

You mean it is a person? I'm going to kick it in the crotch and see if it has balls or not.