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the League of Reason Haiku and limerick thread

arg-fallbackName="Laurens"/>
There once was a man from Norwich
Who liked to put poo in his porridge
'It's good for your health'
He said to himself
'Now its off to the loo's for a forage'
 
arg-fallbackName="Laurens"/>
Roses are red, violets are blue, is it normal for there to be blood in my poo?

:mrgreen: Sorry for bringing the tone down *runs away*
 
arg-fallbackName="Anachronous Rex"/>
Laurens said:
Roses are red, violets are blue, is it normal for there to be blood in my poo?

:mrgreen: Sorry for bringing the tone down *runs away*
Click to expand...
Yes, you are okay
if it does not resemble
coffee grounds at all.*

Otherwise, consult a physician.

*or if you are over 40, or have an existing history of intestinal disorder.
 
arg-fallbackName="Welshidiot"/>
This one's an old chestnut, but I like it:

A policeman from Clapham Junction,
Had a penis that just wouldn't function,
For years of his life
He fooled his wife,
With snot on the end of his truncheon.




Here are some haiku what I wrote:

Glowing bottles shine,
Steel and lightning torture air,
Electric guitar.


I talked to God,
God said: "No point asking me...
"I don't know either..."


The end of the world,
Has not arrived today,
Perhaps God's bowling...


Early Sunday bells,
Awaken Dawkins, yelling:
"Is nothing sacred!?"
 
arg-fallbackName="Prolescum"/>
Welshidiot said:
A policeman from Clapham Junction,
Had a penis that just wouldn't function,
For years of his life
He fooled his wife,
With snot on the end of his truncheon.
Click to expand...

There once was a handy poetic
who had hoped that we'd be apoplectic
but the tears in our eyes
weren't caused by surprise
once reading, you need antiseptic...

Welshidiot said:
Early Sunday bells,
Awaken Dawkins, yelling:
"Is nothing sacred!?"
Click to expand...

That made me guffaw.
 
arg-fallbackName="Andiferous"/>
David both distant and riled,
Does make Matthew's depths look mild;
And this actor, new,
So-called Doctor Who,
Has me no-where as beguiled.
 
arg-fallbackName="Prolescum"/>
"Is Santa Claus here?"
"No, it's the twenty third dude"
"Oh right, sorry chaps."
 
arg-fallbackName="Prolescum"/>
tuxbox said:
Birdie birdie in the sky,
Why'd you doo doo in my eye!
Click to expand...

Turning around, it started to pee
It said, "that's what you get when you use KDE!"
 
arg-fallbackName="tuxbox"/>
Prolescum said:
Turning around, it started to pee
It said, "that's what you get when you use KDE!"
Click to expand...

lmao, KDE sucks,
If you are going to support open source,
Give Gnome the bucks..

*edited*
 
arg-fallbackName="Prolescum"/>
tuxbox said:
lmao, KDE sucks,
If you are going to support open source,
Give Gnome the bucks..
Click to expand...

"Agreed," the prole said, as happy as sin,
"Compiz is better than shitty Kwin".
 
arg-fallbackName="tuxbox"/>
Prolescum said:
"Agreed," the prole said, as happy as sin,
"Compiz is better than shitty Kwin".
Click to expand...

Indeed, KWin is nothing but a polished turd,
for lack of a better word.

That said, I prefer Gnome 2.6.x
Ever since I switch to 3
I feel like an ill-prepared virgin trying to have sex.
 
arg-fallbackName="CosmicJoghurt"/>
There once was a man,
He typed, he typed,
He threw bullshit at our tan,
We wiped, we wiped.

Trying to make sense,
He typed, he typed.
An Inferno arrived,
Who the boy disliked.

As Hell broke loose,
A novel arrived,
And without delay,
Debunkage thrived.

Though much defeated,
The bullshit revived,
But fierce and patient,
Reason survived.

And we all wondered,
"Is he neuron deprived?"
But the ignorance was, in fact,
From deceit derived.

And so, it faded,
You know, the hype?
And the boy got lost,
With his reason prototype.
 
arg-fallbackName="CosmicJoghurt"/>
Here's some un-proofchecked ramblings over some videos I watched today. The rhymes are poor and the artistry is lacking, but I thought I'd post it for the sake of.. well... idunno.


The child stood up,
Like a mountain,
Over the plains she asked,
"What if ...", but then,
Fiercely as allowed,
Sophia was shut up,
And her eyes fainted,
Tearing like a fountain.

"Doubt not, my child,
For strength lies deep,
Where thought cannot go"
But her faith was mild,
And her fear was low.
She kept on trying,
As the elder kept lying,
Till she could only weep.

And the child went on,
Her doubts were gone,
She didn't think much,
Nor did the people,
Like ignorant sheeple,
Sophia then heard,
"What if..."
She turned around and said,
"You're a servant,
Act as such".
 
arg-fallbackName="bluejatheist"/>
Cute, let's keep this thread going for sure


The ship is sinking,
I watch the struggle, seated,
Help them? I do not.

I find the truth clear,
Life's process is simply vain,
The cold water calls us.

Idealists fight on,
A curious sight they are,
Death wont reward heart.

Good luck to the boats,
They will make our plight legend,
They'll get theirs soon too.

When I cease to be,
I will weep not for the loss,
This life is some joke.

At first I denied
Then fear, anger, hatred, but ...
Now I can smile.
 
arg-fallbackName="Noth"/>
I___found___myself___resplacing
deleting______and______erasing
all____sleep____was____denied;
Not_______quite_______satisfied
until the words found even spacing
 
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