the League of Reason Haiku and limerick thread

[Prolescum]

Let your thoughts on life, the universe and everything be expressed in rhyme or moras

Waiting for God. Oh...

If I did as God always commanded
I'd find myself quickly remanded
by a quarter to three
I'd give them my plea
and do time that my peers had demanded


Go on, you know you want to do one...

 

[nemesiss]

a couple of haiku's about the universe

the beautifull universe
always expanding
will you ever stop with growing?

it started with a big bang
it created all
it also created me

many many stars were born
most are dead by now
when i look up at the sky

 

[Andiferous]

I was once tried for treason;
I tried to argue reason;
they put me in jail,
and said that I fail!
Now, I argue for pleasin'.

Alternate ending:

(You know, I am just teasin')

 

[MarrowHunger]

I once asked if God did exist
I was told not to resist
The teachings of the 'lord'

But logic I did find
I learned to use my mind
and I cut his invisible cord

 

[GrolschMan]

I woke up with ache in my head.
I'd rather be back in to bed.
That bastard Morts trolled
And got me Rick Rolled
If no one objects, then he's dead.

 

[GrolschMan]

I waited a day for objections
To cleanse League of Reason's infection.
I took that as no,
so how does he go?
My vote is for lethal injection.

 

[Josan]

I woke up with ache in my head.
I'd rather be back in to bed.
That bastard Morts trolled
And got me Rick Rolled
If no one objects, then he's dead.

I waited a day for objections
To cleanse League of Reason's infection.
I took that as no,
so how does he go?
My vote is for lethal injection.

Pure. Win.

 

[alimck]

Truthful Christian once called the League of Reason,
Stating Evolution was scientific treason.
The boy just droned,
"If you look at pinecones!"
On his ass was declared 'Hunting Season'.

 

[lrkun]

Questions are asked all the time.

All answers are true.

But accurate? It is not.

 

[Dracopol]

Thrice five syllables
Plus two more can't say much but
That's haiku for you!

--Unknown

 

[lrkun]

Yes, God is a lie.
Or maybe he is out there.
But reason says no.

 

[Andiferous]

So what does Reason
Eat for breakfast? Do you know?
It eats eggs and toast.

 

[lrkun]

I will to be free.
Freedom to do as I please.
I free to me.

 

[Prolescum]

Don't you just hate it
when you want to be funny
and nowt comes to mind...

 

[nasher168]

Fuck I'm bad at this
I can't hope to write poems
Let alone Haikus...

 

[lrkun]

Let's eat hamburger.
Include the fries and soft drinks.
Always pay in cash.

 

[Prolescum]

[centre]I cannot fathom
why this thread receives no love
Bloody tragedy.[/centre]

 

[RichardMNixon]

[centre]I cannot fathom
why this thread receives no love
Bloody tragedy.[/centre]

Have you never heard
that atheists can't ever
see beauty and love?

Seriously though, I'm pretty sure I've heard "poetry" given as proof that god exists. Alternatively, if you're in more of a southern baptist mood.

The preacher once said to his flock
Don't you dare read this poetry schlock!
It's for women and gays
They'll burn in hell's blaze
Y'all just listen to Christian rock

----------------------------------------------------

I once met a Priest from Nantucket
Whose mass was so boring: "Just fuck it!"
I stood up from my pew
Yelled "You're all bored too!"
Then I punted the collection bucket.

The bucket flew up through the air
As the cash fell on every church stair
We bum-rushed the altar
The priest's faith took a falter
So then god murdered him with a bear

Now this bear on the church's floor
Let loose his godly, priest-eating roar
The flock bowed to pray
And I chose to stay
Since this new priest sure won't be a bore

 

[Prolescum]

That's just weird, dude. :lol:

Also, it's nothing like the eye-popping Nantucket limerick I've heard (and certainly wouldn't repeat)...

 

[Laurens]

There was a man called Rob Bunt
Who liked to go on the fox hunt
When it got banned, he held his head in his hands
And now he's a miserable cunt

Okay, so it's a bit shit, but it was off the top of my head...