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** STICKY ** Post any notable quotes you can find here.

arg-fallbackName="nemesiss"/>
found on "Crazy thing parents say"

(Telling my mum of a clip I had watched on Youtube.)
Me: Two guys said that the only proof needed that God exists is the banana, that it's designed to fit into our hand and is easy to peel and eat.
Mum: And how do they explain the coconut?
 
arg-fallbackName="WarK"/>
nemesiss said:
Mum: And how do they explain the coconut?
Click to expand...

See? If god hadn't wanted people to have gay sex he'd have devised our genitalia like a coconut, and not like a banana that just fits holes.
 
arg-fallbackName="Laurens"/>
"How can a three-pound mass of jelly that you can hold in your palm imagine angels, contemplate the meaning of infinity, and even question its own place in the cosmos? Especially awe inspiring is the fact that any single brain, including yours, is made up of atoms that were forged in the hearts of countless, far-flung stars billions of years ago. These particles drifted for eons and light-years until gravity and change brought them together here, now. These atoms now form a conglomerate- your brain- that can not only ponder the very stars that gave it birth but can also think about its own ability to think and wonder about its own ability to wonder. With the arrival of humans, it has been said, the universe has suddenly become conscious of itself. This, truly, it the greatest mystery of all."

- V.S. Ramachandran
 
arg-fallbackName="BrainBlow"/>
"I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I've been up linked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

I'm new wave, but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I've got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up. You can't dumb me down because I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I've got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the "F" word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I've got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin in, there ain't no doubt and I'm hangin tough, over and out!"
-George Carlin

Yes, that is a quote. He said everything in one go.
 
arg-fallbackName="Inferno"/>
Friend of mine: Why do you have to question everything?... Oh right, you're an atheist.

(She's one too.)
 
arg-fallbackName="Laurens"/>
"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."

- Marcus Aurelius
 
arg-fallbackName="Anachronous Rex"/>
Laurens said:
"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."

- Marcus Aurelius
Click to expand...
Citation needed.


You know what? Nevermind. It sounded so good I [don't] care who said it.
 
arg-fallbackName=")O( Hytegia )O("/>
An atheist, communist, ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx. "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and accept that Marx was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, greater than Jesus Christ!" At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL stood up, holding a rock. "How old is this rock, professor?" The arrogant professor smirked, and smugly... replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian." "Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real"¦ then it should be an animal now." The professor was visibly shaken. He dropped his chalk and stormed out of the classroom. The students applauded and all registered Republican. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop, the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. That flag waves until this day, despite the lack of wind in the classroom. Semper Fi.

-Erika Salton
Evolution Facebook Page
 
arg-fallbackName="bluejatheist"/>
"The art of war teaches us to rely not on the
likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness
to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking,
but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."

Sun Tzu
 
arg-fallbackName="Inferno"/>
Science&Vie said:
L'exercice du doute et du sens critique face à  tout discours est une démarche non seulment légitime mais, plus encore, bien souvent nécessaire. C'est d'ailleurs une telle attitude qui est à  l'origine de l'esprit scientifique. Mais cet esprit critique doit s'exercer sous le contrà´le de la raison, et non pas passions.
Click to expand...

Translation: The exercise of doubt and a sense of criticism (critical thinking) in a discourse is not only a legitimate course of action, but indeed often a necessary one. In addition, it is this attitude that is at the heart of (or origin of) the scientific mindset. But this critical mindset should be exercised under the control of reason, not of passion.

I thought that was rather beautiful, though I'm not sure if my translation adequately reflects the nature of this quote. It is however rather better than the google translate version:
The exercise of the doubt and think critically about all rhetoric is not ONLY a legitimate approach, but even more often necessary. Moreover, it is this attitude which is the origin of the scientific spirit. But this criticism is to be exercised under the control of reason, not passion.
Click to expand...

This was the opening statement in an article about 9/11 truthers and how the evidence does not suggest that missiles hit the tower or some other crap.
 
arg-fallbackName="bluejatheist"/>
" I don't like what we have become. ... become so... fearful, have we become so cowardly... that we must extinguish a man? Because he carries the blood of a current enemy?"
Captain Picard
 
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