DeistPaladin
New Member
Which Bible story is the most ridiculous to you?
***Edit***
And the nominees are...
The Creation Account: Two contradictory timelines regarding how Yahweh makes a sky-dome, fixes all the lights like the sun, moon and stars into it, and then creates a magic garden with a talking snake.
The Tower of Babel: A short and sweet ridiculous little story about some ancient people who try to build a tower to reach the sky so they can be with God. Yahweh gets scared in verse 6 and curses them with many languages. This, not the evolution of human speech in different cultures isolated from each other, is why we have many languages.
Noah's Ark and the Flood: A much longer absurd account of a global flood and how the human race as well as the animals survived on a large wooden boat. The full explanation for why this story is ridiculous would involve several doctoral theses in at least several different fields. Gems from this story include an insuffient genetic diversity and a perfect god who twice repents.
Exodus: The great Egyptian Empire gets zapped by Yahweh with 10 curses yet strangely there's not a shred of evidence in actual historical accounts. Moses then leads his people through the desert for 40 years, sustained by magic food from Heaven and water from a stone.
Job: Yahweh shows his appreciation of his favorite worshipper in this book. He and Satan screw with his life over a bet and then can't understand why Job is upset.
The Passion and Ressurection of Jesus: Yahweh loves you. He really loves you. He loves you so much that he sent himself down to earth to sacrifice himself to himself because bleeding on a cross was the only way he could convince himself to forgive you for the fact that one of your ancestors made from a rib ate a magic fruit after speaking with a talking snake. The holy zombie then flew up into the sky after being dead for three days (or 1 and a half, depending on how you count it) and presumably had a spaceship waiting in orbit to take him somewhere other than the vacuum of space.
The Apocalypse: John came from an island known for it's mushrooms. Can you tell?
Other: Please specify.
***Edit***
And the nominees are...
The Creation Account: Two contradictory timelines regarding how Yahweh makes a sky-dome, fixes all the lights like the sun, moon and stars into it, and then creates a magic garden with a talking snake.
The Tower of Babel: A short and sweet ridiculous little story about some ancient people who try to build a tower to reach the sky so they can be with God. Yahweh gets scared in verse 6 and curses them with many languages. This, not the evolution of human speech in different cultures isolated from each other, is why we have many languages.
Noah's Ark and the Flood: A much longer absurd account of a global flood and how the human race as well as the animals survived on a large wooden boat. The full explanation for why this story is ridiculous would involve several doctoral theses in at least several different fields. Gems from this story include an insuffient genetic diversity and a perfect god who twice repents.
Exodus: The great Egyptian Empire gets zapped by Yahweh with 10 curses yet strangely there's not a shred of evidence in actual historical accounts. Moses then leads his people through the desert for 40 years, sustained by magic food from Heaven and water from a stone.
Job: Yahweh shows his appreciation of his favorite worshipper in this book. He and Satan screw with his life over a bet and then can't understand why Job is upset.
The Passion and Ressurection of Jesus: Yahweh loves you. He really loves you. He loves you so much that he sent himself down to earth to sacrifice himself to himself because bleeding on a cross was the only way he could convince himself to forgive you for the fact that one of your ancestors made from a rib ate a magic fruit after speaking with a talking snake. The holy zombie then flew up into the sky after being dead for three days (or 1 and a half, depending on how you count it) and presumably had a spaceship waiting in orbit to take him somewhere other than the vacuum of space.
The Apocalypse: John came from an island known for it's mushrooms. Can you tell?
Other: Please specify.