Holy shit, I'm so fucking lonely

[ImprobableJoe]

... yeah.

I just moved 600 miles. I don't know anybody here. I can't find a job. I don't start school until the fall. I don't have any money. I'm so fucking depressed that I can't stand it, and if I say anything to my wife she'll just get depressed that we moved here because she got herself fired from her job. I have no goddamned idea what to do.

 

[Gnug215]

Urk, sorry to hear that.

I sort of tried a similar thing many years ago, sans wife, though.

I played a buttload of computer games and ate a fuckload of ice cream. Was still pretty lonely and miserable, so hmm... yeah, not good good advice about what to do, I guess.

Where exactly are you? What kind of community? What opportunities for socializing is there where you are?

Personally, I get a lot of "social energy" online, like in the LoR chatroom, and from multiplayer games, like Minecraft where some of the LoR people also come. I actually stay away from MMO games. Primarily because they'd suck up too much time, but I think I'd might actually get "social overload" from those.

 

[Lallapalalable]

My cousin just moved ~800 miles, had to leave his job, friend's and family, and he felt the same way for some time. I think he started feeling better once he got a job, and believe me, it's tough yet (and he is a veteran, so that perk wont carry you), so be prepared to stick it out a few months.

There is no good advice (at least nothing that magically fixes the situation), just take some time to discover you until you feel more at home. My mental map tells me you're still in what us Yanks would call The South, so throw a rager, or your age group's equivalent. You guys love alcohol and loud Skynnyrd.

In the mean time, maybe see a doctor about the depression? The drugs they use to treat it are usually mild, like MAOIs, but they do react to alcohol and from what I know of you that may be a problem.

Anyway, I know what its like to move really far and to be unemployed, but not at the same time, and I give you my best.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

I'm not sure what perk being a veteran carries... I am one, and it has never been much help socially.

I'm in Richmond, Virginia. Seems like a pretty cool place except that I've got $60 to my name to last until Thanksgiving. Also, I live in the ghetto, so redneck rock might get me shot. Scary black people. EVERYWHERE!! :lol:

Thanks guys. It just sort of helped to get it off my chest a little bit. Like I said, I can't really say anything to my wife or family or our few mutual friends without it getting back to her. She already feels really guilty for us winding up in the ghetto and still paying $1200 a month in rent. The toughest part is that she's thrilled to be here, and I fluctuate between horror and indifference most of the time.

 

[ArthurWilborn]

From other discussions I've seen, the best way for a non-religious adult to meet people and make new friends in a new place is to join a sports activity club. This would also help with the depression by increasing your activity level.

 

[Lallapalalable]

I meant as far as getting a job; PhDs and discharge papers will get your applications for drive through guy to the top of the stack.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

I meant as far as getting a job; PhDs and discharge papers will get your applications for drive through guy to the top of the stack.

Oh... "drive through guy"? I think I'd rather stay home.

 

[)O( Hytegia )O(]

1) Go to a bar.
2) Meet people
3) ???
4) PROFIT!!!

I may not be as old as you, Joe, but I found out a long time ago that your friend/acquaintance base is only as small as you allow it to be.
I have a friend and several acquaintances in every country I've been to: And, then, even some I HAVEN'T been to.

Just go out, meet some people, and find who you mesh with.

Yes, it's exactly the formula for dating. Just in this case it's a quest for bros, booze, and fun times.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

1) Go to a bar.
2) Meet people
3) ???
4) PROFIT!!!

I may not be as old as you, Joe, but I found out a long time ago that your friend/acquaintance base is only as small as you allow it to be.
I have a friend and several acquaintances in every country I've been to: And, then, even some I HAVEN'T been to.

Just go out, meet some people, and find who you mesh with.

Yes, it's exactly the formula for dating. Just in this case it's a quest for bros, booze, and fun times.

Not having any money is the limiting factor there. We're really paycheck-to-paycheck right now. Buying a headset/mic combo for that Skype call the other weekend was my entire spending cash budget for that week.

At some point, this stuff is going to get better. Next year, unfortunately.

 

[)O( Hytegia )O(]

Replace "Bar" with "Any other place people happen to gather."

 

[ImprobableJoe]

Replace "Bar" with "Any other place people happen to gather."

Do people gather where everything is free?

 

[nasher168]

Buying a headset/mic combo for that Skype call the other weekend was my entire spending cash budget for that week.

:shock:

Now I feel incredibly guilty for organising that, and for my speaking-to-relative-strangers skills not being as good as my typing skills might imply... Jesus, if it was going to clean you out, you should have said.

I take it you're claiming whatever the American equivalent of unemployment benefit is (not that that's very much even here)?

In any case, you could also try and get free stuff from people and sell it on again via Ebay or something. A Google search ("richmond, Virginia free stuff") found a Craigslist page of people trying to shift various things like chairs, sets of pots etc. They might sell for a few dollars, if you don't mind the inconvenience of them lying around for a few days or weeks for someone to take interest in them.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

:shock:

Now I feel incredibly guilty for organising that, and for my speaking-to-relative-strangers skills not being as good as my typing skills might imply... Jesus, if it was going to clean you out, you should have said.

No man, it is all good. At least it gave me something to do that was more productive than getting shitfaced on cheap beer and spending three days shitting out my pancreas.

I take it you're claiming whatever the American equivalent of unemployment benefit is (not that that's very much even here)?

Nope. Even if I could I can't. It is state-by-state, and I don't have a single hour of employment in Virginia on which to draw.

In any case, you could also try and get free stuff from people and sell it on again via Ebay or something. A Google search ("richmond, Virginia free stuff") found a Craigslist page of people trying to shift various things like chairs, sets of pots etc. They might sell for a few dollars, if you don't mind the inconvenience of them lying around for a few days or weeks for someone to take interest in them.

Or I could panhandle, or sell my ass to old gay dudes. I'd rather save myself the humiliation of being a junkman and a beggar. I can be broke, but let me please keep my dignity. :|

 

[CosmicJoghurt]

I have absolutely no idea what you've studied and what your diploma is, and all that. But, depending on what it is that you do... Go to wherever people do what you want to do and present yourself. You probably won't get hired the first day, but at least you're telling other people "O hai der. I'm good at what I do. Just sayin'".

I also have no experience finding jobs or even having jobs. You see... I'm a mere kid.

Not sure if this makes any sense at all, though. It's late and I'm bored. I hope I helped a tad bit.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

I have absolutely no idea what you've studied and what your diploma is, and all that. But, depending on what it is that you do... Go to wherever people do what you want to do and present yourself. You probably won't get hired the first day, but at least you're telling other people "O hai der. I'm good at what I do. Just sayin'".

I also have no experience finding jobs or even having jobs. You see... I'm a mere kid.

Not sure if this makes any sense at all, though. It's late and I'm bored. I hope I helped a tad bit.

Not really helpful, but I appreciate the effort.

 

[nasher168]

If you have the patience to try something completely, 100% new, you could try making online games and selling them to websites. There is a LOT of money to be had there. As in, enough to let you work full-time if you put in proper effort.
For perspective: my brother made this when he was 15: http://armorgames.com/play/5920/space-base-defender
He sold it to Armor Games for $1500 (about ,£1100 at the time, iirc). Armor Games had very friendly staff who were very willing to try out and buy the game.

If a game like that is worth $1500, try to imagine what you would get from a good-looking, more professional game. The popular ones from well-established people sell for upwards of $50000.

 

[Nashy19]

If you have the patience to try something completely, 100% new, you could try making online games and selling them to websites. There is a LOT of money to be had there. As in, enough to let you work full-time if you put in proper effort.
For perspective: my brother made this when he was 15: http://armorgames.com/play/5920/space-base-defender
He sold it to Armor Games for $1500 (about ,£1100 at the time, iirc). Armor Games had very friendly staff who were very willing to try out and buy the game.

If a game like that is worth $1500, try to imagine what you would get from a good-looking, more professional game. The popular ones from well-established people sell for upwards of $50000.

Which games sell for $50k? That game looks quite good but there's a lot of very similar looking games.

Those crappy online role-playing games look like easier money, they sell players victory (and smurfberries).

 

[CosmicJoghurt]

If you have the patience to try something completely, 100% new, you could try making online games and selling them to websites. There is a LOT of money to be had there. As in, enough to let you work full-time if you put in proper effort.
For perspective: my brother made this when he was 15: http://armorgames.com/play/5920/space-base-defender
He sold it to Armor Games for $1500 (about ,£1100 at the time, iirc). Armor Games had very friendly staff who were very willing to try out and buy the game.

If a game like that is worth $1500, try to imagine what you would get from a good-looking, more professional game. The popular ones from well-established people sell for upwards of $50000.

Holy... 1500 bucks? I've been into programming since like.. forever. Gotta start working on Flash games then.

 

[nasher168]

IIRC, this sold for about that much ("if I remember correctly" is the operative phrase, though). Smooth, high-quality animations; a distinctive artistic character; a functioning physics engine; relatively challenging gameplay; a good length; bug-free and above all: addictive.

 

[Noth]

It's been 2 days, heavy emotions are somewhat settled and some reflecting may have been done?

Then it's safe to post this?



All well-meant and lovey-dovey of course