Think you know the Bible? Take this Quiz

[No1Mensan]

Question 1, Is it possible to see the whole world from a high mountain?
(1 Mark)
Question 2, How long is it possible to survive when inside the stomach of a Whale?
(1 Mark)
Question 3, According to the Bible, in what order were the following created, Light, Sun, Plants?
(3 Marks)
Question 4, What do you do if you hear some city inhabitants talking about serving other Gods?
(3 Marks)
Question 5, Are the Sun, Moon and stars inside or outside the Firmament?
(1 Mark)
Question 6, Do Humans have domination over bacteria, viruses, Grizzly Bears and Great White Sharks?
(1 Mark)
Question 7, Which of the following did Adam name:
All Animals known at the time of Genesis,
Only the ones in the Garden of Eden,
All including all the new species which we find today, their names must have been forgotten.
(1 Mark)
Question 8, Do Snakes eat dust?
(1 Mark)
Question 9, Do Rabbits chew cud?
(1 Mark)
Question 10, Are Bats Birds or Mammals?
(1 Mark)
Question 11, How many legs do flying insects have?
(1 Mark)
Question 12 - How do you punish a disobedient child?
(2 Marks)
Question 13, How do you punish a child for uncovering their Father's nakedness?
(1 Mark)
Question 14 - How long should a Hebrew Slave serve you for?
(1 Mark)
Question 15 - To what extent are you allowed to smite your Slaves?
(1 Mark)
Question 16 - How much is a female Slave between 5 and 20 years old worth relative to that of a male Slave of the same age?
(1 Mark)
Question 17 - Is it possible to move the Earth?
(1 Mark)
Question 18 - How do you punish someone for presenting the Lord with a Fire offering?
(1 Mark)
Question 19 - How do you punish someone for touching a covered Holy object?
(1 Mark)
Question 20 - How do you punish a married rape victim in the city?
(1 Mark)
Question 21 - How do you punish someone for raping a virgin?
(1 Mark)
Question 22 - How should a man with a genital injury be treated?
(1 Mark)
Question 23, What was the scale of Joshua's massacre in Jericho?
(6 Marks)
Question 24, What did Joshua do to the 5 Kings?
(4 Marks)
Question 25, What did Jephthah sacrifice to God in return for God delivering his enemies into his hands?
(2 Marks)
Question 26, How many people did Samson kill in his suicide bombing act?
(1 Mark)
Question 27, How does God punish David for having Uriah killed?
(2 Marks)
Question 28, Who does God get to rape David's Wives?
(1 Mark)
Question 29, How did God punish 42 children for making fun of Elisha's bald head?
(1 Mark)
Question 30, What does God think about people who decorate Christmas Trees?
(1 Mark)
Question 31, What did God tell Ezekiel to bake his Barley Cakes with?
(1 Mark)
Question 32, How did God punish the people of Nineveh?
(1 Mark)
Question 33, According to Jesus, does the Old Testament still apply to Christians?
(1 Mark)
Question 34, What should you do if your right eye offends you?
(1 Mark)
Question 35, What should you do if your right hand offends you?
(1 Mark)
Bonus Question (Christians only) - The Bible is accurate and correct because:
(10 Marks)

I'll post answers sometime in the near future.

 

[lrkun]

Question 1, Is it possible to see the whole world from a high mountain?

No. However, according to New Living Translation (,©2007) Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. Therefore, taking the bible into consideration, yes.

 

[lrkun]

Question 2, How long is it possible to survive when inside the stomach of a Whale?

There is no answer to this question. According to New Living Translation (,©2007) Now the LORD had arranged for a great fish to swallow Jonah. And Jonah was inside the fish for three days and three nights. Therefore, this question is not proper, since it is about a fish and not a whale.

 

[lrkun]

Question 3, According to the Bible, in what order were the following created, Light, Sun, Plants?

The following:

1. Genesis 1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light; and 2. Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

The sun was not mentioned in the bible.

 

[TheFearmonger]

Question 3, According to the Bible, in what order were the following created, Light, Sun, Plants?

The following:

1. Genesis 1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light; and 2. Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

The sun was not mentioned in the bible.

read the fourth day :lol: :lol:

 

[Mapp]

These are self evident to any Bible reading Christian male!

Question 1, Is it possible to see the whole world from a high mountain?

Yes, when you have a stunted desert herder mindset and think the entire world is Palestine.

Question 2, How long is it possible to survive when inside the stomach of a Whale?

Indeterminate. Jonah was down there for three days, but he could have been imprisoned longer had he not prayed to God to let him out.

Question 3, According to the Bible, in what order were the following created, Light, Sun, Plants?

I believe it's light, plants, sun. Also don't forget that God created day and night before he created the sun. Wonder where this light was supposed to be coming from?

Question 4, What do you do if you hear some city inhabitants talking about serving other Gods?

Trick question, you should have already laid waste to all the cities that worshiped other Gods already. If you haven't killed all the men and boys, slit open the pregnant women and torn out the fetuses, and taken all the young girls to be sexual playthings, you haven't been doing your job.

Question 5, Are the Sun, Moon and stars inside or outside the Firmament?

Well if you believe the Book of Enoch, the Sun actually passes through holes in the firmament on its journey across the sky, so the answer there would be both. The rest, I'm assuming just sit floating in all that water up there.

Question 6, Do Humans have domination over bacteria, viruses, Grizzly Bears and Great White Sharks?

Heretic! There is no such thing as bacteria. Disease is caused by vapors and demons. As for grizzly bears and great whites, of course we have dominion over them. They just don't know it because they lost the ability to talk and eat hay after The Fall.

Question 7, Which of the following did Adam name:
All Animals known at the time of Genesis,
Only the ones in the Garden of Eden,
All including all the new species which we find today, their names must have been forgotten.

Adam named all animals, he was especially creative when coming up with Mayan sounding names for animals that would later appear in South America. Very convenient that he foresaw not only the Fall, but the Tower of Babel and the spread of mankind across the globe.

Question 8, Do Snakes eat dust?

Only after The Fall, I'm sure they ate hay and chewed cud like the lions, tigers, and leopards did beforehand.

Question 9, Do Rabbits chew cud?

You'll love what Christian apologists actually say about this one. They argue that since Rabbits eat their own dung, that counts as chewing the cud. This despite the fact that the Hebrews had a word for dung, and later used it in the Bible when talking about the proper ways to cook with shit. So yes, if you completely ignore the Hebrew lexicon the Bible is right as always!

Question 10, Are Bats Birds or Mammals?

Obviously they fly, which makes them birds! Bible 1, Atheists 0!

Question 11, How many legs do flying insects have?

Four, just like birds do. Your Scientificaniarism is clearly clouding your mind.

Question 12 - How do you punish a disobedient child?

Stoning.

Question 13, How do you punish a child for uncovering their Father's nakedness?

If you're Noah, you make him and his descendants slaves for ever. He got off too easy if you ask me.

Question 14 - How long should a Hebrew Slave serve you for?

Six years, unless you can get them to marry another slave you own, then you get to drive a spike through his ear and keep him forever.

Question 15 - To what extent are you allowed to smite your Slaves?

You can beat the shit out of them, as long as they don't die within 1-2 days of the beating. God is merciful!

Question 16 - How much is a female Slave between 5 and 20 years old worth relative to that of a male Slave of the same age?

Better question, how much is a female slave worth in reference to a bull. If a bull kills a slave, that's 20 shekels, not a bad deal.

Question 17 - Is it possible to move the Earth?

"The world is firmly established it will not move" Ps 93:1 Just because God shakes it from time to time doesn't mean it's actually moving, it sits on pillars after all.

Question 18 - How do you punish someone for presenting the Lord with a Fire offering?

Stoning is always good, have you tried stoning?

Question 19 - How do you punish someone for touching a covered Holy object?

Has anyone mentioned stoning? Stoning works.

Question 20 - How do you punish a married rape victim in the city?

Do I hear stoning? Who's up for a stoning?

Question 21 - How do you punish someone for raping a virgin?

(1 Mark)

Well, obviously since the daughter is the property of the father, the policy of "you break it, you bought it" applies. Marriage.

Question 22 - How should a man with a genital injury be treated?

It doesn't matter, once your genitals have been crushed or cut off, you're unclean forever.

Question 23, What was the scale of Joshua's massacre in Jericho?

Everyone except the prostitute (and her family) that helped him murder every living thing in the city. God is merciful!

Question 24, What did Joshua do to the 5 Kings?

Well, after Joshua stopped the Sun and the Moon from moving in the sky, he locked them all up in a cave and let them starve to death. Just punishment for the crime of being born into a tribe God doesn't particularly like.

Question 25, What did Jephthah sacrifice to God in return for God delivering his enemies into his hands?

The first thing that came out of his house, which happened to be his only daughter. God is merciful!

Question 26, How many people did Samson kill in his suicide bombing act?

3,000 men and women, "more than he had slain throughout his entire life." Way to go out with a bang!

Question 27, How does God punish David for having Uriah killed?

Thousands of innocent people die in a war brought on by King David's sin, and then thousands more die in a plague when David performs a census that God asked him to perform. God is Just!

Question 28, Who does God get to rape David's Wives?

David's son of course, but they were concubines, not wives, so it's all good. Remember, raping a woman isn't rape in the bible, it's destruction of property!

Question 29, How did God punish 42 children for making fun of Elisha's bald head?

In the most awesome way possible, by sending fucking rage-bears to rip them apart! God is merciful!

Question 30, What does God think about people who decorate Christmas Trees?

Though this passage is actually up to debate, that's only by those namby-pamby liberal Christians, they're idol worshippers and should be killed accordingly. Anyone up for a stoning?

Question 31, What did God tell Ezekiel to bake his Barley Cakes with?

Well, if you look for recipes, you'll find people using sesame seeds. This is rank blasphemy. The proper way to bake bread is with human shit.

Question 32, How did God punish the people of Nineveh?

God was kind of slacking on this one. He had the city invaded and destroyed, rather than the proper way of raining fire and turning people to salt. Sometimes God is lazy!

Question 33, According to Jesus, does the Old Testament still apply to Christians?

Well that depends on which gospel you read. Some say the law will not change a jot, others show Jesus proudly breaking the law, and saying that it's OK for him and his followers because they're special. God is...confusing!

Question 34, What should you do if your right eye offends you?

Rip it out of your skull.

Question 35, What should you do if your right hand offends you?

Cut it right the fuck off, and probably stone it for good measure.

Bonus Question (Christians only) - The Bible is accurate and correct because:

Because God wrote it, it says so right there in the Bible.

Did I win?

 

[No1Mensan]

You got first place so far, the only challenger hasn't even made it to the 16th verse of Genesis yet.

 

[ArthurWilborn]

Question 29, How did God punish 42 children for making fun of Elisha's bald head?

This one's an example of something being lost in translation. The word somehow became "youth", which can mean children; but doesn't in this case. A more accurate term in the modern lexicon would be "military age male". If there were 42 of them on a pre-Roman road, they were probably doing worse things to passers-by then hurling insults. The bears were too good for 'em.

 

[lrkun]

Question 4, What do you do if you hear some city inhabitants talking about serving other Gods?

The bible providese the following:

Deuteronomy 13:15 Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.
Deuteronomy 13:16 And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.

 

[lrkun]

Question 5, Are the Sun, Moon and stars inside or outside the Firmament?

Outside or before. According to Genesis 8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. Firmament means heaven, it is the place where god lives. Therefore, the sun, the moon, and the stars are outside of the firmament.

 

[lrkun]

Question 6, Do Humans have domination over bacteria, viruses, Grizzly Bears and Great White Sharks?

Humans have dominion not domination of the above mentioned. According to Genesis 26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.Therefore, man has control or authority over the above.

 

[DepricatedZero]

Therefore, man has control or authority over the above.

Tell that to HIV

 

[Story]

Question 29, How did God punish 42 children for making fun of Elisha's bald head?

This one's an example of something being lost in translation. The word somehow became "youth", which can mean children; but doesn't in this case. A more accurate term in the modern lexicon would be "military age male". If there were 42 of them on a pre-Roman road, they were probably doing worse things to passers-by then hurling insults. The bears were too good for 'em.

Sorry? They deserved to be mauled by bears because of something they were probably doing? Not what the verses said they were doing?

 

[No1Mensan]

פֶ וַ ִ
u,·iphn
and,·he-is-facing-about

אַחֲרָיו
achri,·u
behind,·him

רְאֵ וַ ִ
u,·ira,·m
and,·he-is-seeing,·them

וַיְקַלְלֵ
u,·iqll,·m
and,·he-is-slighting,·them

Öµ Ö°
b,·shm
in,·name-of

יְהוָה
ieue
Yahweh

צֶאנָה + וַ ֵ
u,·thtzane
and,·they-are-coming-forth

×™Ö´+Ö· Ö°
shthim
two

×™Ö´ .Ö»
dbim
bears

מִ
mn
from

עַר הַ ַ
e,·ior
the,·wildwood

עְנָה 1 בַ ַ + וַ ְ
u,·thbqone
and,·they-are-rending

מֵהֶ
m,·em
from,·them

עִי אַרְ ָ
arboim
forty

× Öµ×™ Ö°
u,·shni
and,·two-of

יְלָדִי
ildim
boys

Doesn't look like it's been translated out of context to me.

 

[lrkun]

Therefore, man has control or authority over the above.

Tell that to HIV

I am doing my best not to laugh at your reply. Dude, this is a think you know your bible quiz. The answers are based on what the bible says, not that which I know to be true.

However, I don't blame you for failing to recognize the theme of this thread. My bible based answer is funny. It is based on a story which assumes a lot of things. Don't feel to bad. Read slowly next time.

 

[lrkun]

Question 7, Which of the following did Adam name:
All Animals known at the time of Genesis,
Only the ones in the Garden of Eden,
All including all the new species which we find today, their names must have been forgotten.

a. Adam named All including all the new species which we find today, their names must have been forgotten.

b. According to the New Living Translation (,©2007) He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

c. Therefore, he did not name only the ones in the garden of eden, nor only those at the time of genesis.

 

[lrkun]

Question 8, Do Snakes eat dust?

a. Yes, if serpent means snake.

b. According to Genesis 3:14, And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou [art] cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

c. In the past, snakes didn't look like the way they do now. It was because of their sin for tempting man that they are like so.

 

[lrkun]

Question 9, Do Rabbits chew cud?

a. Yes

b. According to Leviticus 11:6, And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you.

c. Therefore, a rabbit chews cud.

 

[TheFlyingBastard]

This one's an example of something being lost in translation. The word somehow became "youth", which can mean children; but doesn't in this case. A more accurate term in the modern lexicon would be "military age male".

yeled
child, son, boy, youth

From the NAS concordance:
Original Word: יָ֫לֶד
Transliteration: yeled
Phonetic Spelling: (yeh'-led)
Short Definition: boy

NASB Word Usage
boy (7), boys (3), child (32), child's (2), children (27), lad (2), lads (1), young (3), young men (6), youths (5).

From Strong's concordance:
boy, child, fruit, son, young man one
From yalad; something born, i.e. A lad or offspring -- boy, child, fruit, son, young man (one).

---

It's also interesting to note that the female of yeled (yaldah) means girl or maiden.

 

[No1Mensan]

If anyone wants the answers, click here.