The Religious Shit List!

[Gnug215]

Hi all,

I saw this video recently that included a fun list. It's one I had seen before, but it was nice to see it again.

Here's the video:



After watching it, I felt compelled to offer some of my own suggestions to the list.
Here's some of the stuff I came up with:

• 
  Intelligent design:
  Irreducible shit; someone must have made it!
  
  Sikh:
  This is? some Sikh shit!
  
  Jedi-ism(?)
  The Force is the shit!
  
  Comfortism:
  Bananas are the shit!
  
  
  Agnosticism:
  I don't know shit.
  
  Atheism:
  Ain't no shit.
  
  Astrology:
  It's planets and shit...
  
  YECism:
  Shit is only 6,000 years old.
  
  
  Not posted:
  Nijaism:
  There are three shits on this picture!
  
  Pirateism:
  Yarrh, shit me timbers, matyes!
  
  Popeism:
  Holy Shit!
  
  Naturalism:
  A shit storm!
  (...)

Really silly, I know, but I was thinking maybe someone had some good suggestions, so... hit it, everyone!

 

[Pulsar]

Yeah, I've seen this shit before

A few more:

Ray Comfort: Look how gracefully this shit fits into my, hands and mouth.
(credits to theshredator for that one)

Descartes: I shit; therefore, I am.

Agnosticism: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Existentialism: What is shit anyway?

Christianity: Shit happens because you have sinned.

Egocentrism: I made all this shit.

Environmentalism: Recycle this shit.

Televangelism: Give me your money, and I will heel your shit, in the name of Jesus!

Armstrong on the moon: It's a small piece of shit for man, but a giant pile of shit for mankind.

And a few from me:

Freudianism: Your shit comes from a sexual attraction to your mother.

Evolution: Survival of the fittest shit.

Masochism: More shit, please!

Michael Behe: This shit could not have come from random chance!

Doomsday cultists: Shit will end in 2012.

Conspiracy theorists: The NWO are behind all shit!

Astrology: Taurus - shit will happen to you on Monday. Things will brighten as you meet a new love interest on Friday. She will cause more shit though.

 

[Jotto999]

Misanthropy: people are full of shit.
Procrastination: I'll do this shit later.
Materialism: I need lots of shit.
Nocturnalism: I do my shit at night.
Pacifism: Fighting doesn't solve shit.
Individualism: I can deal with shit on my own.
Indoctrination: I want my kids to believe the same shit that I do.

 

[Sando]

Pastafarianism: Spaghetti is the shit.

 

[Raistlin Majere]

Invisible Pink Unicorn: This shit's invisible.

 

[PJDesseyn]

Hunting: *crunch* this shit is 2 days old and produced by a 5-year old male deer, going east.
Plato: this shit is only a shadow of real shit.
Creationism: this is shit, therefore God exists.

Socrates:
"Are we shit?"
*No, of course not...*
"But don't we use shit to fertilise the land?"
*Well, yeah, we do, but that still doesn't mean we're shit.*
"But isn't this shit used by plants to grow?"
*Yes, of course...*
"So you could say those plants are made of shit"
*Well, yeah, I guess...*
"And don't we eat those plants?"
*Yes, of course...*
"So technically, we eat shit, right?"
*I guess we do...*
"And isn't that shit used by our bodies to renew itself?"
*Yes...*
"So if shit is used to renew our bodies, aren't we made of shit?"
*...I guess we are...*
"Thus, we are shit."

 

[Sando]

Skepticism: What a load of shit!

 

[Josan]

This shit is actually from a "funny" t-shirt.

Jehova's Witness: "Knock, knock. Shit happens".

 

[Pulsar]

Kennedy: Ask not what your shit can do for you, ask what you can do for your shit!
Johnson: America is not merely shit but a nation of shit.
Nixon: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I didn't know anything about it.
Ford: didn't do shit.
Carter: We should live our lives as though shit were coming this afternoon.
Reagan: Mr Gorbachev, tear down this shit!
Bush sr.: Read my lips, no new shit!
Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that shit.
Bush jr.: States like these constitute an axis of shit.
Obama: Yes we shit!

Nazism: Scheisse.
Yin-yang: Shit-shat.
Feng shui: Harmonizing shit.
Homeopathy: Diluted shit.

Geology: Layers of shit.
Paleontology: Fossilized shit.
Chemistry: Toxic shit.
Particle physics: Nuclear shit.
Quantum mechanics: You can't measure the position and speed of shit at the same time.
Relativity: Shit depends on the observer.
Chaos theory: If a butterfly flaps its wings, shit happens.
Astronomy: This shit's big.
Cosmology: Shit expands.
1st law of thermodynamics: Conservation of shit.
2nd law of thermodynamics: In a closed system, shit increases.

 

[Sando]

Socialism: This shit should be the people's!
Communism: Let's all share this shit.
Stalinism: Fuck this shit. I'm taking your shit!
Capitalism: Every shit for himself!
Liberalism: Don't touch my shit!
Anarchism: We don't have shit.
Conservatism: I'm keeping this shit.
Populism: People, listen to this shit!
Eco-movement: That piece of shit is polluting!

Iranian voters: Our votes mean shit!

 

[PJDesseyn]

Emperor Vespasian: Shit, I think I'm becoming a god!
Emperor Nero: Burn this shit!
Emperor Caligula: Fuck this shit!
Emperor Claudius: I shit!
Emperor Hadrian: My wall's da shit!

 

[Salv]

Haha, fantastic stuff.

This clip from family guy cracks me up.

 

[boonw]

I have a shirt that has a whole bunch of those

my favs on it are

Catholicism: If shit happens I deserve it
Protestantism: Shit wont happen if I work harder
Judaism: why does this shit always happen to me?
Jehovah's witness: *knock knock*...... HELLO THERE! Shit happens
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage
Rastafarian: lets smoke this shit.

 

[Fartoholic]

Emperor Vespasian: Shit, I think I'm becoming a god!
Emperor Nero: Burn this shit!
Emperor Caligula: Fuck this shit!
Emperor Claudius: I shit!
Emperor Hadrian: My wall's da shit!

Julio-Claudians