Restore your body to its Alkaline state!

[FatStupidAmerican]

http://www.enagic.com/watertheory_watertypes.php

Buy this machine so you can turn you water into alkaline water. Drink it then..... perfect health!

*edit* I can't type today.

 

[MRaverz]

Face, blooming, palm.

Body's alkaline state my arse! That works fine for your intestines, but what about your pH 1-2 stomach or your pH 7 mouth?

Both will have their enzymes slightly annoyed by this soapy water.


Edit: How would we go about getting the wording corrected so that it isn't blatantly lying?

 

[MRaverz]

And there's some nice scare-mongering to help their sales too:

Tap water is a healthier option than soft drinks. But according to recent investigations, tap water in 42 states has been found to be contaminated with more than 140 unregulated chemicals that lack safety standards!

At the current levels of contamination, the public is starting to question the quality of tap water and wonders if it is safe enough to drink. Based on these facts, it's no wonder that the demand for Kangen Water,® is constantly increasing.

Plus, some sweet hypocrisy:

Bottled water can also be slightly acidic, which may affect your body's pH balance.

 

[FatStupidAmerican]

Soooo Water + Acid is bad for you.

Coffee and tea
You'll be surprised at the wonderful color, taste, and aroma of coffee or tea prepared with Kangen Water,®. You can also use less or coffee or tea and still achieve a full rich taste due to the water's extractable ability.

I love that part.

Because.... coffee isn't acidic.

I got some of their resource material today and one of my co workers went down stairs to talk to her, and recorded the conversation.

 

[SpaceCDT]

Strong Kangen Water | pH 11.0
This water is not for drinking.

This is gold - Strong Kangen Water, not for drinking! (or else you'll come down with a bad case of metabolic alkalosis)

I also found this:

Water Filtering
Elements not removable Metallic ions and/or salinity present in original tap water

 

[Laurens]

Just more proof that you can sell anything to idiots so long as you write enough bullshit about it.

 

[AdmiralPeacock]

I had some arrogant numb-nuts come into the store yesterday demanding to know what we did not stock books about alkalizing you body - I was tempted to tell him that we stock enough hack pseudo-scientific books in our "Popular Psychology" section, we do not need to start contaminating the Diet Section too - but alas, my boss was within earshot.

 

[Duvelthehobbit666]

Strong Kangen Water | pH 11.0
This water is not for drinking.

This is gold - Strong Kangen Water, not for drinking! (or else you'll come down with a bad case of metabolic alkalosis)

How can this still be called water? I mean WTF, if its pH is 11.0, it must have enough impurities in it to not be called water. Shouldn't there be some law to stop this from being sold as water, because there is probably someone dumb enough to not read the label and still drink the stuff. Well that person would always get the distinction of being nominated for a Darwin Award.