New (?) Argument Against the Existence of Heaven

[RichardMNixon]

Got the idea from this webcomic:

Pat marries Taylor.
Taylor gets hit by a car and dies.
Pat remarries Alex, who is later also killed by a car.
Grief-stricken, Pat is struck by a car a month later.
All three are in heaven. Is Pat married to Taylor, to Alex, or neither? What if Pat and Alex died in the same accident? What if Pat died first? I think it not only points out the absurdity of an afterlife, but also that even people who believe in heaven still live like this is their only life.

 

[Squawk]

It's something I've considered for a while. Who do you end up with in heaven if you are truly in love with someone, but they don't love you back etc?

 

[Pulsar]

Pat remarries Alex.

Remarrying is a SIN. THEY WILL ALL BURN IN HELL!!!

I use these arguments regularly in a debate. "Do you keep all your past memories when you're in heaven? Including traumatic experiences that made your life miserable? Do deaf people stay deaf? If a newborn baby dies, does it stay a baby in heaven, without ever growing up and developing? When its parents eventually die, are they re-united with their lost baby, for eternity? What if people don't want to see each other again?"

Shows you how heaven is just a childish fantasy.

 

[televator]

***spin cycle*** [Insert dubious, arbitrary, theistic, apologetic excuse here] ***spin cycle***

 

[Krazyskooter]

If you're going by the Christian theology, there isn't anyone getting in married in heaven. Everyone is the Bride of Christ, So the man and his former wives would be more like siblings than sweethearts.... According to the Bible. Kinda sick when you think about it.

 

[WarK]

Pat marries Taylor.
Taylor gets hit by a car and dies.
Pat remarries Alex, who is later also killed by a car.

a really simple one.. Pat is cloned so both Taylor and Alex can have her

I had that exactly same thought some years ago with such a bizarre and poorly defined concept as heaven and afterlife it's easy to poke fun out of it.

 

[WarK]

If you're going by the Christian theology, there isn't anyone getting in married in heaven. Everyone is the Bride of Christ, So the man and his former wives would be more like siblings than sweethearts.... According to the Bible. Kinda sick when you think about it.

yeah, all of sudden the 72 (or whatever the number is) virgins sound reasonable :>

 

[RichardMNixon]

Everyone is the Bride of Christ, So the man

Gay marriage is allowed in heaven? :lol:

 

[lrkun]

The comic strip is amusing, I suppose assuming it reflects reality, what if one chooses you, as a result you end up with neither your wife nor soulmate.

 

[Master_Ghost_Knight]

This is a simple answer for any theist, why did you thaght this was a chalendge? "Until death do us part", i.e. your mariage is not valid after one of them dies. I think the mormons or some specific christian denomination has mariages bounded even after dead, but still this is not the rule here.

 

[IBSpify]

I prefer this question because it hits both heaven and hell

"Where do masochists go when they die?"

 

[Pulsar]

I prefer this question because it hits both heaven and hell

"Where do masochists go when they die?"

Well, you could say that Jesus was a masochist - eh I mean martyr...

 

[Andiferous]

It's something I've considered for a while. Who do you end up with in heaven if you are truly in love with someone, but they don't love you back etc?

Hold on - does this mean heaven is like a cheap hotel room and you're only allowed in pairs? [

I prefer this question because it hits both heaven and hell

"Where do masochists go when they die?"

Well, you could say that Jesus was a masochist - eh I mean martyr...

I was going to say - this would depend on whether this person practised and if this person managed to do so before dying. There are sites that sell these kind of masochistic atonements for our salvation you know.

I think you're not allowed to do it to others though. Well... the golden rule might complicate this a bit.

That said, do clergy and those promised and wedded to Jesus have perks in Heaven?