my friends are arrogant and apathetic

[ajh]

my friends are being pricks lately.been saying things like "who cares if an animal species goes extinct as long as WE live". and other times they say "who cares,just nuke Iraq/middle east and take all the oil for ourselves"
i want to smack them in the mouth and tell them "we need certain species of animal to live" and "if we nuke the middle east thousands of INNOCENT people will be killed and the radiation will do 2 things-it will drift as the earth rotates (if we use enough bombs) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coriolis_effect) (*correct me if im wrong) and we wont be able to go in and GET the oil because the desert can retain the radiation for a number of years!" (*correct me if im wrong)
the apathy and total disregard for human life and the well being of others pisses me off the most.
i hear the most despicable,arrogant,ignorant SHIT you will ever hear!
the question i have is-should i tell them off?
risk sounding like a preachy little bastard for the intellectual gain of these peons?
should i just get new friends?

 

[Aught3]

They sound pretty stupid, I would find some new friends.

 

[King Tyrant Lizard]

Your friends sound pretty cool.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

Get new friends. The current crop are idiots.

 

[GoodKat]

They sound like me when I was a brainwashed fundie. If they're anything like I was, telling them off will only make them more self-righteous and bigoted.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

They sound like me when I was a brainwashed fundie. If they're anything like I was, telling them off will only make them more self-righteous and bigoted.

You were a giant vagina? You should teach classes on how to stop!

 

[GoodKat]

You were a giant vagina? You should teach classes on how to stop!

If only the fundamentalism didn't make people unwilling to change. It's like wanting to tell someone who gets violently angry when you point out their problems that they have a problem of getting violently angry when someone points out their problems.

 

[Saladin]

my friends are being pricks lately.been saying things like "who cares if an animal species goes extinct as long as WE live".

...
i want to smack them in the mouth and tell them "we need certain species of animal to live"

I'm sure that they aren't saying that it's totally unimportant if a species becomes extinct, but they've probably been desensitized by the way the media reacts to the extinction of animals that can reasonably be called "unimportant".

The value of a particular life form should be judged by how important it is to human survival on a local and global scale. Some animals could vanish overnight and nobody would notice except for the biologists getting paid millions of dollars to hand feed their babies.

risk sounding like a preachy little bastard for the intellectual gain of these peons?

You sound pretty arrogant yourself. Maybe you should do a little introspection and change certain behaviors before you start telling these guys off.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

If only the fundamentalism didn't make people unwilling to change. It's like wanting to tell someone who gets violently angry when you point out their problems that they have a problem of getting violently angry when someone points out their problems.

That's exactly the problem. The people who are crazy enough to need changing are too crazy for any of us to change, unless we are a mental health professional.

 

[Xulld]

I tend to be outspoken. I might be subtle about it. Bring back up a conversation later with a single person who I thought may be redeemable.

If your gut tells you that none of them are; I tend to agree with the concept of pearls before swine.

You know em, its only a call you cant make.

 

[Ozymandyus]

I'm guessing these are people that are a little younger, in which case they are mostly joking about this sort of stuff. People don't always want to talk about serious issues, and if you are talking about the serious consequences of things when your friends are just playing around... then you might be well be the arrogant one.

Several of my oldest friends and I say the craziest shit when we are around each other just because its part of making an in-group. We all know we are joking and how ridiculous it is. I'm not saying thats NECESSARILY what's happening here, but you might want to think about the possibility a little.

If they are seriously ignorant pricks when they talk one on one with you, and can't listen to reason at all... then yes find new friends. Most of the stuff they are saying is just stuff people say when they are sick of talking about the serious consequences of stuff all the time (just nuke em all and forget it)- and might just be something they say because they want an easy solution, which is relatively normal for what I assume is teenagers.

 

[Xulld]

I'm guessing these are people that are a little younger, in which case they are mostly joking about this sort of stuff. People don't always want to talk about serious issues, and if you are talking about the serious consequences of things when your friends are just playing around... then you might be well be the arrogant one.

Several of my oldest friends and I say the craziest shit when we are around each other just because its part of making an in-group. We all know we are joking and how ridiculous it is. I'm not saying thats NECESSARILY what's happening here, but you might want to think about the possibility a little.

If they are seriously ignorant pricks when they talk one on one with you, and can't listen to reason at all... then yes find new friends. Most of the stuff they are saying is just stuff people say when they are sick of talking about the serious consequences of stuff all the time (just nuke em all and forget it)- and might just be something they say because they want an easy solution, which is relatively normal for what I assume is teenagers.

Great insight, I know this has been my experience, in groups its much more difficult to have candid conversation without a strange elephant entering the room. It also depends how close you are to all of them.

 

[irmerk]

Friendship is conditional.

All you can do is provide them with evidence and rationality in the subjects of nuclear shitfests, animal extinction, and human footprint on our environment. At the end of each day you have to decide, consciously or unconsciously, whether or not to continue friendship - maybe these issues are really important to you.

 

[Saladin]

Friendship is conditional.

All you can do is provide them with evidence and rationality in the subjects of nuclear shitfests, animal extinction, and human footprint on our environment. At the end of each day you have to decide, consciously or unconsciously, whether or not to continue friendship - maybe these issues are really important to you.

In other words, be an utter bore. Sooner or later they'll stop wanting to be around you.

 

[irmerk]

In other words, be an utter bore. Sooner or later they'll stop wanting to be around you.

Incorrect. Try reading again.

 

[Saladin]

Incorrect. Try reading again.

Nah. How about we combine our posts?

Provide them with evidence and rationality in the subjects of nuclear shitfests, animal extinction, and human footprint on our environment. Sooner or later they'll stop wanting to be around you.

 

[irmerk]

At the end of each day you have to decide, consciously or unconsciously, whether or not to continue friendship - maybe these issues are really important to you.

And

... be an utter bore. Sooner or later they'll stop wanting to be around you.

Those two equate to you? If so, you are a sad case. A personal decision on how important the issues are in comparison to the friendships is not the same thing as deliberately boring someone else until they turn on you. Someone is not your friend if they have such opposing views or offense to opposing views; this is why I deliberately mentioned the importance must be factored in.

 

[Gnug215]

my friends are being pricks lately.been saying things like "who cares if an animal species goes extinct as long as WE live". and other times they say "who cares,just nuke Iraq/middle east and take all the oil for ourselves" i want to smack them in the mouth and tell them "we need certain species of animal to live" and "if we nuke the middle east thousands of INNOCENT people will be killed and the radiation will do 2 things-it will drift as the earth rotates (if we use enough bombs)
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coriolis_effect) (*correct me if im wrong) and we wont be able to go in and GET the oil because the desert can retain the radiation for a number of years!" (*correct me if im wrong) the apathy and total disregard for human life and the well being of others pisses me off the most.
i hear the most despicable,arrogant,ignorant SHIT you will ever hear!
the question i have is-should i tell them off? risk sounding like a preachy little bastard for the intellectual gain of these peons? should i just get new friends?

I think in order for any of us to say anything specifically helpful, we might need more information.
What's the history of you and these friends?
How old are you, and they?
What's their background in terms of political/religious/ideological affiliations, if any?
How long have you noticed this apathy in them, and what do you think is the reason for their viewpoints/behavior?
Does their viewpoint/behavior stem from their ideological background, or just from apathy/ignorance?

Perhaps you taking interest in this is because you're more mature and even precocious?

If they're open to new ideas and not totally immature, then I'd say there's a good chance of you being able to give them an eye-opener about these issues, by explaining in a concise but fulfilling manner what is at stake, and what the consequences are.

Preferably, you might want to talk to your friends one at a time; group mentality tends to be more difficult to affect with stuff like this. Your friends will probably be more silly and less serious in a group context, and people will often be more prone to want to prove themselves and "score points" with the group, which in the case of guys often means domination and being funny.

As for the factual content of what you want to tell them, try to find really good and powerful examples of what the consequences may be. The content you have mentioned so far seems a bit... unstructured and ineffectual, to be honest.

So my suggestion is that you work on your arguments a bit. Find some good hard-core facts that should have some shock-effect, and formulate a powerful and concise little speech for them (but don't sound as if you're delivering a speech. Be natural and relaxed). Get a hold of them one at a time where you can talk seriously, if only just for half a minute or so. Make sure you're not being arrogant and condescending yourself, but just talk naturally about this, without directly pointing out that your friends are wrong - the facts should do that for you.

If after this your friends disagree, and have their own "facts" to counter your argument, then you'll have to deal with that there, and maybe just accept that you disagree, which is something you will have accept in dealing with many of your friends in the future.
If they're still just being immature and apathetic, then maybe that's just where your friends are and need to be right now, and you have to think about why you're friends with them if you're in a completely different place.
People change, and so do opinions. If your friendship is based on agreement in opinion, then... perhaps you just need to join a political party or something. But if it's based on having fun with people you trust and like, then maybe it's not so bad after all.


Sorry for babbling on.

 

[Daealis]

my friends are being pricks lately.been saying things like "who cares if an animal species goes extinct as long as WE live". and other times they say "who cares,just nuke Iraq/middle east and take all the oil for ourselves"

A few animals go extinct... I've skipped through a book that described in detail all the different world ending scenarios that could be caused by nature/man/universe and there was a whole chapter dedicated to different species going extinct. Any single insect dying out could mean potentially dozens of birds and reptiles dying off as well. No ants and we'd be overrun by snakes. Insects also take care of most of the plant reproduction. Basically any single species could tip over the whole ecosystem. Anything that species eats could multiply in overabundance and anything eating this extinct species could starve to death. Do they really need a cited source to figure that kind of things out?

Nuking Iraq for oill? How about nuking USA just so we could take some industrial complexes? Bombing Switzerland to get some chocolate and clocks? Poisoning the water supplies of China to grab the plans for the next generation Nintendo? Releasing deadly gas to the vatican in order to boss a religion around with a funny hat? Point being that you are actually OK with the idea of destroying a whole nation to get some valuable asset, but as they seem to think that because someone happens to live in the middle-east they are all insane jihad-shriekers.

 

[Gnomesmusher]

I hate to say it but you might have to ditch those friends. I'm sort of going through the same thing right now except it includes my girlfriend who is religious and conservative while I'm neither of those things.

Arguments and discussions no matter how civil seem to leave a bad taste in the mouths of everyone involved. I realize that you can still get along with people who have different views but sometimes those differences are too much especially when one side is being completely irrational.

I guess my advice is to remember why you're friends with them and try to keep that friendship but also keep in mind that unfortunately different ideologies often break people apart especially ones that are close. If anyone has a magic solution I'd really like to hear it since I could use it as well.