DeathofSpeech
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Anyone using GOD 1.0 (Commandment Line) could expect to spend a lot of time praying for their computer to work, however the merest hint of doubt would cause a BSOD error.
A BSOD error would result in actual death.
Anyone caught upgrading to GOD 2.0 (User Friendly) would be burned at the stake and then suffer eternal torment.
Anyone caught NOT upgrading to GOD 2.0 (User Friendly) would be burned at the stake and then suffer eternal torment.
GOD 1.0 would not be merely closed source, the source code would require a quorum to interpret, with Boolean operations subject to committee vote.
Handing out bootleg copies would be required.
UNDO would exact a penance.
Even if your work was saved, it could still burst into flames or be eaten by a giant fish at any moment and for no apparent reason.
Illegal operations would be punishable by stoning.
The delete and backspace keys would not actually delete anything. Every typo would be stored for eternity to be used as evidence against you.
"The Word" documents would provide convenient template formats... which could never be edited.
Installation would not require an actual computer. GOD 1.0 would manifest the computer in which it was installed.
The installation would be fully featured with tons of rules and hotkeys many of which would conflict.
Uninstall would decapitate the user.
One person looking at internet porn would cause everyone's IO buffer to be flooded for 150 days.
SUDO would require setting a goat on fire.
Killing a conflicting child process would result in a "race" condition.
The Babalizer would become a standard feature of spellcheck.
There would not be just one help desk, there would be 38,000 and each would have different advice.
Managing group permissions would require stone tablets and possibly human sacrifice.
SATAN would remain pretty much unchanged and would still be a black-hat tool.
CTRL-ALT-DELETE would cause the nearest gay person to vanish
...and
Divide by Zero would no longer produce an error, but would become the only valid answer.