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I am also the Second Coming of Christ

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Story

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arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
My name is Trollian Poe Smith and I am the Second Coming of Christ as well.

The world will come to an end on 12/12/2012 at 12:12:12 GMT.

Before this time several marshmellows capable of belief will believe completely that I am the new Christ.

I am a troll, during the course of this thread you will come to realise this fact, but as I will justify my claims with bare faced assertions and a variety of different ipsedixits, you will be brought to debate my view with me wherein I will produce an illusion of real debate by addressing your points with the simple statement "I disagree" and seldom involving actual debate material such as solipsism.

I am a mono-pantheist neo-Christian. Monopantheism is the the belief in one true god that is everything and has a son.

Trollian is a disguised form of the word "troll", Poe isn't a disguised form of the word "poe" and Smith is a real last name. So I am disguised troll or poe with a real name.

My birthdate is 31/5/87. The thirty one, the five and the eighty seven are 10-base number symbols that were invented in India and disfigured by Arabs who spread it across the world and then further disfigured by Europeans into what we have today. They are meaningless to read into.

My place of birth is London. This name symbolises England where there will be no death and no graves and no one will ever experience hopelessness or despair.

My 18th birthday was cancelled because I was ill. On this day I scratched my forehead and left scars. When I look in the mirror the scars appear in the form of three weird scars. The markings tell me that I am Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility. Jesus was the Christ, I am Spiderman. The Second Coming of Christ and the Spiderman are the same thing. I am not fiction, I am real, but I am something that will cause human beings fear- super powers. Jesus was the incarnation of good. I am the incarnation of super powers.

The universe is imploding at almost the speed of light. On the eighth of November we will see the lights of the imploding universe. On the eleventh the world will end. After this the universe will reform as the Marvel Universe where we will all be reborn. All our abilities will be changed and we will all live new lives experiencing heroism and powers far beyond anything we can ever experience on Earth.

It is not my intention to offend anyone with this message. Only to honestly express what I believe to be true.
 
arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
Sorry guys, but in this new world I will be Spiderman, Magneto, Mystique AND Gambit.

So they're all taken.
 
arg-fallbackName="fenyx"/>
Story said:
Sorry guys, but in this new world I will be Spiderman, Magneto, Mystique AND Gambit.

So they're all taken.


actually you only really have to be Mystique. Because then you could be any of them.

fine. Im lady Deathstrike..and ill cut you if you steal my identity..second coming or not.
cheeky-smiley-017.gif
 
arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
Here's a list of all the people I'll be in the Marvel Universe.

All except Lady Deathstrike >.>
 
arg-fallbackName="Exmortis"/>
Hey wait damned moment! I thought you were the third incarnation of christ.

Here is the third's backstory:
No guys.... Timothy is right!

Seriously, you'll see soon. I know this because I'm the third coming of Christ and I have seen the future showing me his miracle. This may be hard to believe for some of you, especially coming from the both of us but I met up with the 4th and 5th comings of Christ and they told me the same thing.

It's really amazing, because a few years ago, before I knew I was the 3rd coming, I was talking with the 8th coming of Christ and he told me that I'd go to a discussion board, which was one among millions on the internet, and some how on that one board there would be an important message that was relevant to the whole world, but that it would be absolutely incredulous and no one on the board would believe it. I didn't believe him right away because I hadn't become the 3rd coming of Christ yet so he teleported me to the 9th coming of Christ who gave me a scouter so I could measure their power levels and I found out that they were both over 9000!

Of course from a skeptics point of view, merely being teleported and shown power levels didn't really demonstrate anything relative to being a coming of Christ, so I asked them to show me demonstrable empirical evidence of their divinity. They both looked at each other in confusion and then said that they could perform any miracle I wanted, but they weren't sure how to demonstrate it in a way that would show that it was related to them being the 8th and 9th comings. Clearly, I had won the argument... but just then a huge dragon, satan, appeared and shot a huge fireball from his mouth at me. The 9th coming quickly jumped in the way and deflected the fireball with a impenetrable wall of wine, but the wall wasn't impenetrable enough, the fireball shot through it and hit the 9th coming and sent him flying far back beyond my sight. The 8th coming pulled out two swords and jumped at Satan swinging his blades wildly. I thought he may have had a chance, but at that moment I saw Satan's power level and it was six hundred and sixty six million six hundred and sixty six thousand six hundred and sixty six (666,666,666). The 8th coming would certainly lose. He shouted at me as Satan waved his hand of destruction just before being torn to pieces.

"YOU ARE THE THIRD COMING!", And he died.

And then satan moved his hand towards me, aiming for my head. I was frozen with fear. As his hand drew closer my body began to tremble and tears seeped through the nicitating membrane in the sides of my eyes. His hand came only inches away from my forehead when I realised it. I was the third coming... I exploded with passion, energy and love and grasped the hand of satan. He shrieked as I twisted his finger... my power level was at 70 sextillion (The amount of stars we can see in the sky). With my existence, satan no longer had a purpose. So I kept a hold of his finger as he tried to flee and I flew with him through our atmosphere past our solar system and alongside many other star's systems till I deposited him in the super massive black hole in the center of Andromeda.

You should found a religion with this as the holy text, I would be on board... but does anyone else think this story is suspiciously similar to Dragon Ball Z? You know what future Jesus... I think they stole your life story... then turned it into a cartoon!
 
arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
No... the story is not suspiciously similar to Dragon Ball Z. In fact, Dragon Ball Z is suspiciously similar to this story. It's similar to how Jesus's miraculous birth and story is suspiciously similar to Horus, Osiris and Isis in Egyptian Mythology. This is because Satan often goes backwards in time and makes up the old stories similar to the actual ones to confuse people.

And there's no contradiction between being both the second and third comings of Christ.
 
arg-fallbackName="Exmortis"/>
No... the story is not suspiciously similar to Dragon Ball Z. In fact, Dragon Ball Z is suspiciously similar to this story.

That's what I said...
does anyone else think this story is suspiciously similar to Dragon Ball Z? You know what future Jesus... I think they stole your life story... then turned it into a cartoon!

I thought Jesus was supposed to see everything... or is that Santa Claus.

And there's no contradiction between being both the second and third comings of Christ.

Have you talked to Tim about this. I don't think he will like you stealing his Christhood.
 
arg-fallbackName="nemesiss"/>
MRaverz said:
Bad news, I'm the Third Coming of Christ - turns out you don't do too well. :D

now we only need 2 more christs and we got our team of might morphing Jesus rangers complete.
 
arg-fallbackName="Master_Ghost_Knight"/>
Bollocks! The second comming of christ was canceled to 2102 or you didn't get he memo?
Besides who the hell woul cancel their 18th birthday to become spiderman? Everyone knows that the second comming of christ is supoused to transform into donkeyman (with the super powers of an ass) a then make his triumphal entering trough the mexican borderd eating nachos as the rednecks conspire to capture him to give him the authorities so he can deported back to mexico, and on the thirday rise again to the USA and he secretly adress to his disciples and say "Trabajo, si?", because you to shal do the workings of our lord, amen. It does say so in the bible.
 
arg-fallbackName="australopithecus"/>
I'n the Second Coming of whathisname and so's my wife!
Story said:
Here's a list of all the people I'll be in the Marvel Universe.

All except Lady Deathstrike >.>

I call Superman. By definition of monopantheism Marvel and DC are the same thing.
 
arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
Exmortis said:
Have you talked to Tim about this. I don't think he will like you stealing his Christhood.

Yes, we've spoken. The second coming doesn't have to be one person. There's no rule that he had to come in one body.
Exmortis said:
I thought Jesus was supposed to see everything... or is that Santa Claus.

Santa Claus is a divine being. I have an amazing transcript of a conversation between Santa Claus, the Buddha and Osiris if you're interested.
Master_Ghost_Knight said:
Bollocks! The second comming of christ was canceled to 2102 or you didn't get he memo?

No that memo was passed around because some one high up that wasn't god didn't want ME to be the second coming. I quit and formed a competitive faction where we'll make it happen now.
MRaverz said:
Bad news, I'm the Third Coming of Christ - turns out you don't do too well. :D

No... we are both the third coming of Christ. There's no rule that says it has to be one person.
nemesiss said:
in light of confessions....

i am KIRA, the God of this world!

This blends well with Monopantheism. We believe that in the beginning there was God, The 0th Coming and KIRA.

So this is fine.
 
arg-fallbackName="Story"/>
australopithecus said:
I call Superman. By definition of monopantheism Marvel and DC are the same thing.

Unfortunately in the next world, everything is made solely out of kryptonite.
 
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