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Homosexuality - Have your views changed?
- Thread starter phixy
- Start date
Andiferous
New Member
phixy said:
I agree to this point very much as well. I'd love to hear more stories on this thread - I think it's a wonderful topic. But in regards to this specific point - unrelated to the thread - there is a difference between true pride or "owning" oneself and trying to shock people for various psychological reasons. I could just as easily "come out" to my grandparents that "I am not a virgin!" but I don't expect they will in any way accept the details of my sexual existence. A lot of us accept, have no issue, and measure all on the same level, and as such, get a bit uncomfortable when having to delve deeper into people's bedrooms. Heh... obviously we're part prude. Just to say we're all people over here, and I'll never tell my grandmother I've had sex. Nonetheless who I've had sex with.
This said, for those who have the courage to take the stand for political reasons, I applaud you, because then it transcends the bedroom and personal issues.
Independent Vision
New Member
I never, even when I was officially a Christian, thought badly about people with different sexualities.
It could have something to do with the fact that I am bisexual, and both my sisters are bisexual to some extent.
It could have something to do with the fact that I am bisexual, and both my sisters are bisexual to some extent.
When I was still mentally enslaved to religion, I admit I was utterly disgusted by, and hateful towards, homosexuality. Not sure when the switch flipped (probably around the time of my deconversion), but I'm 110% behind the "gay-rights" movement. My regret is taking so long in getting my head out of my ass and the stupid shit I thought and said.
When I was still a christian I tried very much to suppress my homosexual feelings up until the point where I even dated a girl for two years. Because I slowly became agnostic during that period - enough so to no longer want to be part of christian religion - I knew I was being dishonest with myself. After we broke up it took maybe a few months for me to 'come out' as first bi and later as a full-fledged homosexual 
.
My parents completely accepted my sexual coming out while continuing to have problems with my lack of belief, even though I don't think they know exactly how non-religious I've become. With hindsight maybe I should have come out in my early teens but I don't think this was realistically possible due to my religious school and church environment.
I don't remember avidly opposing homosexuality, but I condemned it. This, with hindsight, was probably largely due to the fact that I couldn't accept my own sexuality. Yet I know I've known I was attracted to the same sex from my early teens on so there was a genuine dissonance between what I felt and how I proclaimed to feel about it. I even strongly denied my feelings towards my dad when he discovered some of the websites I had been browsing, passing it off as a phase.
In summary I'd have to say my views changed dramatically, even though my early views never honestly represented my true feelings. I'm lucky to live in a country where my rights are so equal and I can even marry if I want to and adopt kids, even though I'm not sure I would necessarily want either - it's just nice to know that you can.
. My parents completely accepted my sexual coming out while continuing to have problems with my lack of belief, even though I don't think they know exactly how non-religious I've become
. With hindsight maybe I should have come out in my early teens but I don't think this was realistically possible due to my religious school and church environment. I don't remember avidly opposing homosexuality, but I condemned it. This, with hindsight, was probably largely due to the fact that I couldn't accept my own sexuality. Yet I know I've known I was attracted to the same sex from my early teens on so there was a genuine dissonance between what I felt and how I proclaimed to feel about it. I even strongly denied my feelings towards my dad when he discovered some of the websites I had been browsing, passing it off as a phase.
In summary I'd have to say my views changed dramatically, even though my early views never honestly represented my true feelings. I'm lucky to live in a country where my rights are so equal and I can even marry if I want to and adopt kids, even though I'm not sure I would necessarily want either - it's just nice to know that you can.
In the years since I was able to put together rational thoughts properly, I've never had a problem with homosexuality. What two (or more if you like) people do in their spare time is entirely their choice and neither my business or my problem.
Go for it. Be open about your relationship if you want. Sit close to them and hug them or whatever. It's not like it'll weird me out or anything. Tell me about your feelings for whichever person you're talking about and I'll listen. Hell, I'll give advice where I as a heterosexual can do so. Okay, I'd rather not have graphic details or photos regarding your sex life, but I'd rather not have that for heterosexual couples as well.
Go for it. Be open about your relationship if you want. Sit close to them and hug them or whatever. It's not like it'll weird me out or anything. Tell me about your feelings for whichever person you're talking about and I'll listen. Hell, I'll give advice where I as a heterosexual can do so. Okay, I'd rather not have graphic details or photos regarding your sex life, but I'd rather not have that for heterosexual couples as well.
When I was a child and teenager I never met a homosexual so I didn't know how they were like, when I was 23 and following a gardening education I became friends with an ex-model brazilian bisexual man, he was really kind except that he liked hugging me a bit too much after a while. Also a year later I found my best friend from elementary school on facebook and he turned out to be gay, he was always a bit different. I myself don't mind a bit of manlove but I wouldn't say I'm gay or bisexual.
I'm with the classic "homophobe via religion" -section. My parents have been more open than I was in my teens, so much so that they've got a few gay friends around the globe. I was a pretty standard hillbilly kinda phobic between ages 13 to 16(became religious at 15), and "don't bother me and I won't bother you" kinda trying-not-to-be-but-still-am homophobe from there to around 22ish(when I've lost all remaining faith). In our school the guys were of course using fag as the word of choice if someone was uncool. Gay was the bogieman of the teenage world, and the devil of the religious groups. There I was introduced to the ideas of gays going straight to hell and being deviant, but I never bought it. I figured it was a choice and could be cured with councelling or something along those lines. Nevertheless, I didn't like the idea of disliking gays just because they are what they are, I wanted to actually dislike persons because of their personality.
But with the realisation of atheism I came to question the whole "evil-homos" as well, and have since come to the conclusion that I couldn't care less. On some occations I still have noticed a slight reaction when I've seen gay or lesbian couples showing affection in the public, but that seems to me like more of a remnant of a programmed response, since I do have a few couples who are very close friends and with them I'm comfortable as ever. I'm not too sure if I even swing only one way myself, but no need to experiment in a steady relationship.
But with the realisation of atheism I came to question the whole "evil-homos" as well, and have since come to the conclusion that I couldn't care less. On some occations I still have noticed a slight
reaction when I've seen gay or lesbian couples showing affection in the public, but that seems to me like more of a remnant of a programmed response, since I do have a few couples who are very close friends and with them I'm comfortable as ever. I'm not too sure if I even swing only one way myself, but no need to experiment in a steady relationship.My father is, despite being a very well educated man, very biggoted, to the point that he will make stuff up that sounds "Sciency" to justify his opinions, this biggotry goes against everybody really; homosexuals, black people, indigenous people, women, etc...
As any kid growing up in México I was "Inoncently biggoted" this is to mean I would use "gay" as a way to insult my playground rivals, my parents would not correct me; even more at the time I lived under the watchfull eye of an aunt who was a "christian mother hen" (you know the kind of woman that goes to chur to gossip and makes sure to be in everybodys life) so I was Hardcore christian at the time (harcore christian kid anyways) and though they would all burn in hell. I really hate that these people messed me up so much with theire bullshit since I was an uphill battle getting rid of so much crap on my mind.
EVEN after going atheist (about 15 years old) I kept all that nice biggotry with me (It was sciency and my medical doctor father kept spweeing it) It wasn't cool to show it but it was still within, affecting how I behaved and specially how I expressed myself.
At about 22 years old I had a discussion with my family why I thought Homosexuals should not adopt kids (get married fine but don't let kids get messed up by living with them) while no one in my family could (or cared to) change my mind, I recognized to myself that I had not been completly honest about it, I didn't relly thought that homosexuals could mess up a kid since IF sexuality was genetically predisposed then being in a homosexual home would not make a kid gay (yes, this was the big preocupation at the time not if the kid lived a happy life, an uphill battle I tell you) but if sexuality was taught then there would be no homosexuals since homosexuals had to come from hetorexual homes.
From that point on I decided to put all the pseudeo sciency biggotry my dad hadtaught me under the microscope, needles to say It was a couple of rough years between him and myself; you have to understand that the country where I live is openly biggoted, oppenly racist, sexist, etc.. and while Homosexuals can now get married In the city where I live (and I believe they are about to get the right to adopt) Mexico is still a very backwards place in that regard, there are radio shows that openly mock gay people, "gay" has passed from insult to zing, so it is very difficult to realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay within this society that openly spews biggote slurls every 5 minutes.
I'm not gay, so I don't attend pro gay marches or pro gay events but I honestly feel happy for them for every inch they gain in their battle to be treated as "normal" people in Mexico (They are currently battling the pension sistem since the form doesnt alloy for a man to say that he is living his husband anything or a woman to her wife, yes the problem is the stupid form) and I hope soon "gay" stops being an issue in my country (at least); however then I go to the street or with my friends an they start with the "you know how I know you're gay...?" thing and I realise that true equality might be farther than I realise, maybe I should get more Involved.
What I have learnt is that it is appalling the amount of damage one can do to a person by telling is bullshit when the person is young, it is of course the same with religion in general but the fact that kids believe blindly what their parents believe makes such a delicate task to raise them that it is a wonder more care is not put in it.
Anyway, that is my story: from biggoted idiot to not biggoted idiot; I hope I can get rid of the idiot part soon enough as I'm not getting any younger.
As any kid growing up in México I was "Inoncently biggoted" this is to mean I would use "gay" as a way to insult my playground rivals, my parents would not correct me; even more at the time I lived under the watchfull eye of an aunt who was a "christian mother hen" (you know the kind of woman that goes to chur to gossip and makes sure to be in everybodys life) so I was Hardcore christian at the time (harcore christian kid anyways) and though they would all burn in hell. I really hate that these people messed me up so much with theire bullshit since I was an uphill battle getting rid of so much crap on my mind.
EVEN after going atheist (about 15 years old) I kept all that nice biggotry with me (It was sciency and my medical doctor father kept spweeing it) It wasn't cool to show it but it was still within, affecting how I behaved and specially how I expressed myself.
At about 22 years old I had a discussion with my family why I thought Homosexuals should not adopt kids (get married fine but don't let kids get messed up by living with them) while no one in my family could (or cared to) change my mind, I recognized to myself that I had not been completly honest about it, I didn't relly thought that homosexuals could mess up a kid since IF sexuality was genetically predisposed then being in a homosexual home would not make a kid gay (yes, this was the big preocupation at the time not if the kid lived a happy life, an uphill battle I tell you) but if sexuality was taught then there would be no homosexuals since homosexuals had to come from hetorexual homes.
From that point on I decided to put all the pseudeo sciency biggotry my dad hadtaught me under the microscope, needles to say It was a couple of rough years between him and myself; you have to understand that the country where I live is openly biggoted, oppenly racist, sexist, etc.. and while Homosexuals can now get married In the city where I live (and I believe they are about to get the right to adopt) Mexico is still a very backwards place in that regard, there are radio shows that openly mock gay people, "gay" has passed from insult to zing, so it is very difficult to realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay within this society that openly spews biggote slurls every 5 minutes.
I'm not gay, so I don't attend pro gay marches or pro gay events but I honestly feel happy for them for every inch they gain in their battle to be treated as "normal" people in Mexico (They are currently battling the pension sistem since the form doesnt alloy for a man to say that he is living his husband anything or a woman to her wife, yes the problem is the stupid form) and I hope soon "gay" stops being an issue in my country (at least); however then I go to the street or with my friends an they start with the "you know how I know you're gay...?" thing and I realise that true equality might be farther than I realise, maybe I should get more Involved.
What I have learnt is that it is appalling the amount of damage one can do to a person by telling is bullshit when the person is young, it is of course the same with religion in general but the fact that kids believe blindly what their parents believe makes such a delicate task to raise them that it is a wonder more care is not put in it.
Anyway, that is my story: from biggoted idiot to not biggoted idiot; I hope I can get rid of the idiot part soon enough as I'm not getting any younger.
Netheralian
New Member
Even though I grew up atheist in a relatively atheist family (my Dad was more of an atheist and my mother didn't particularly give a shit), it was still small town Australia where homophobia is the norm. I don't think my views didn't particularly changed until I found out a few friends from university were gay. I simply realised that it didn't remotely affect my opinion of them and on reflection, neither should it...
I now consider myself Aboganist... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan)
I now consider myself Aboganist... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan)
Pennies for Thoughts
New Member
In the City by the Bay, people can (and do) walk down Market Street wearing a loin cloth, feathers, and 14 nose rings yet barely warrant a glance. Non-conformists have always been welcome in SF: first to sanction gay marriage.
On the down side, there is a small though substantial group of GLBTs (San Franciscans are forbidden by law from using "gay" as a catch-all for gender-benders) that are annoying, not for their GLBTness, but for their attitude. They arrive from havens of intolerance like Hogwallow, Arkansas to find comfort among other sexual refugees, and then cop an attitude toward SF's heterosexuals whose acceptance made them welcome in the first place. Fortunately, they grow out of it after about ten years, but in the meantime newer migrants who didn't get the memo take their place. :roll:
San Francisco: indifferent to variations in intimacy between consenting adults since Oscar Wilde (1882). http://www.sfmuseum.org/hist5/wilde.html
On the down side, there is a small though substantial group of GLBTs (San Franciscans are forbidden by law from using "gay" as a catch-all for gender-benders) that are annoying, not for their GLBTness, but for their attitude. They arrive from havens of intolerance like Hogwallow, Arkansas to find comfort among other sexual refugees, and then cop an attitude toward SF's heterosexuals whose acceptance made them welcome in the first place. Fortunately, they grow out of it after about ten years, but in the meantime newer migrants who didn't get the memo take their place. :roll:
San Francisco: indifferent to variations in intimacy between consenting adults since Oscar Wilde (1882). http://www.sfmuseum.org/hist5/wilde.html
Pennies for Thoughts
New Member
Get started, get started! A bad name indeed!
Your Funny Uncle
New Member
Prolescum said:
This is the way I've always felt too. Why should i care about someone else's sexuality? Straight, LGBT, BDSM, whatever floats your boat as long as all parties involved are consenting adults and no-one gets permanently harmed.