Creating A Religion

[Yfelsung]

In my old age of 27, I've effectively given up on arguing with theists seriously. It's an exercise in frustration most of the time and the age old saying "You can't fix stupid" applies often to the situation.

So I've decided to create my own counter-religion to basically make theists, specifically Abrahamists (Christians, Jews and Muslims), to just kind of leave me alone in frustration. Now I had flirted with this when working with this Catholic guy where I just started rewritting Christianity and informing him about why he was wrong. Now this was a guy who would just laugh off any debate and say stupid stuff in a semi-trolling way but this method actually got me to produce headaches and discomfort in him so I kind of squirreled it away.

Now I think I'm ready to create the Codex Brutalis (anyone who knows Latin and can give me the proper word for Brutality would be great), an all encompassing religion that makes all other religions out to be sects of itself.

Now I want to start with a Genesis like book, then maybe do a Revelation right after. I kind of want to cover the major stuff Abrahamists bring up so I can very quickly counter with the "true way".

Any Muslims (ex Muslims) or Jews (or... well, I guess you can't exactly be an ex-Jew, but you can be an atheist Jew... damn racial religions confusing stuff) have any input on their own religious text and what books I may want to "redo" for comedic purpose?

I'm basically starting with the premise that all gods are splinters of the one true brutal God and that the Abrahamic God is actually a Cyborg T-Rex made with all the finest Dinosaur technology who has a broken communication dish which is why the Bible, Koran and Torah aren't quite right.

 

[lrkun]

In my old age of 27, I've effectively given up on arguing with theists seriously. It's an exercise in frustration most of the time and the age old saying "You can't fix stupid" applies often to the situation.

So I've decided to create my own counter-religion to basically make theists, specifically Abrahamists (Christians, Jews and Muslims), to just kind of leave me alone in frustration. Now I had flirted with this when working with this Catholic guy where I just started rewritting Christianity and informing him about why he was wrong. Now this was a guy who would just laugh off any debate and say stupid stuff in a semi-trolling way but this method actually got me to produce headaches and discomfort in him so I kind of squirreled it away.

Now I think I'm ready to create the Codex Brutalis (anyone who knows Latin and can give me the proper word for Brutality would be great), an all encompassing religion that makes all other religions out to be sects of itself.

Now I want to start with a Genesis like book, then maybe do a Revelation right after. I kind of want to cover the major stuff Abrahamists bring up so I can very quickly counter with the "true way".

Any Muslims (ex Muslims) or Jews (or... well, I guess you can't exactly be an ex-Jew, but you can be an atheist Jew... damn racial religions confusing stuff) have any input on their own religious text and what books I may want to "redo" for comedic purpose?

I'm basically starting with the premise that all gods are splinters of the one true brutal God and that the Abrahamic God is actually a Cyborg T-Rex made with all the finest Dinosaur technology who has a broken communication dish which is why the Bible, Koran and Torah aren't quite right.

ferinus - brutality

Make it somewhat akin to a mystic poem. Hehe.

 

[Prolescum]

Now I think I'm ready to create the Codex Brutalis (anyone who knows Latin and can give me the proper word for Brutality would be great)

I'm not sure there's a proper word for it, but severum (severe), crudum (raw, unripe) or durum (harsh) might do.

I wish you luck, though many have tried and given up once truly seeing the scale of such a task...

Edit:

ferinus - brutality

Make it somewhat akin to a mystic poem. Hehe.

Or perhaps that. Not sure it applies to humans, though.

 

[Yfelsung]

Now I think I'm ready to create the Codex Brutalis (anyone who knows Latin and can give me the proper word for Brutality would be great)

I'm not sure there's a proper word for it, but severum (severe), crudum (raw, unripe) or durum (harsh) might do.

I wish you luck, though many have tried and given up once truly seeing the scale of such a task...

Edit:

ferinus - brutality

Make it somewhat akin to a mystic poem. Hehe.

Or perhaps that. Not sure it applies to humans, though.

You ever meet those people who can just make up a story on the spot and just keep going and going and going and going. I'm one of those people. Even if I don't get much written down, I can free-flow my religion off the top of my head pretty well.

 

[Stadred]

Good luck. The Pastafarian religion recently codified the beliefs in "The Loose Canon," so you're in good company.

 

[Prolescum]

You ever meet those people who can just make up a story on the spot and just keep going and going and going and going. I'm one of those people. Even if I don't get much written down, I can free-flow my religion off the top of my head pretty well.

Me too, but I tend to stick to the absurd.

What am I talking about? It's practically the same thing...

 

[Yfelsung]

You ever meet those people who can just make up a story on the spot and just keep going and going and going and going. I'm one of those people. Even if I don't get much written down, I can free-flow my religion off the top of my head pretty well.

Me too, but I tend to stick to the absurd.

What am I talking about? It's practically the same thing...

My religion has a Cygodasaurus Rex and Bronto-Marines that live in the moon.

Absurd is my God's middle name.

 

[lrkun]

You can focus on what story. One story is all it takes to start a religion. The first sentence can summarize everything if you know how to word it right. Even one word is all it takes. In your case, absurd. That's enough, but will need amplification in order to set the right mood, atmosphere, and series of events.

 

[RedYellow]

I think it would be funny if someone became like the next VenomfangX, garnered a huge internet following of believers, then admitted to being fake just to prove to these people how gullible they are.

 

[Yfelsung]

I think it would be funny if someone became like the next VenomfangX, garnered a huge internet following of believers, then admitted to being fake just to prove to these people how gullible they are.

I actually honestly believe probably somewhere around 30% of current YouTube creationists are not actually creationists. Some of them are just too over the top. They probably milk their viewers for behind the scenes donations.

 

[TheFlyingBastard]

I'm basically starting with the premise that all gods are splinters of the one true brutal God...

This is good...

and that the Abrahamic God is actually a Cyborg T-Rex made with all the finest Dinosaur technology who has a broken communication dish which is why the Bible, Koran and Torah aren't quite right.

...and this is something I'd replace.

Try and write a "serious" religion, not something that is absurder than the Abrahamic religions are.

 

[Yfelsung]

I'm basically starting with the premise that all gods are splinters of the one true brutal God...

This is good...

and that the Abrahamic God is actually a Cyborg T-Rex made with all the finest Dinosaur technology who has a broken communication dish which is why the Bible, Koran and Torah aren't quite right.

...and this is something I'd replace.

Try and write a "serious" religion, not something that is absurder than the Abrahamic religions are.

No no no, you're not getting the point, the religion is supposed to be absurd because it's supposed to be almost pure blasphemy. The point is to twist all of the other religions into such a mockery under my new religion that I cause anger in the theists.

You see, I explain to Christians how the Bible is kind of right but it's off in parts. For example, it's missing the first line. Before "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. " was the line "Before the beginning, dinosaurs created God". They didn't call the planet Earth back then, they called in Dinosaur land, and then God remade it as heaven and earth.

It's all about context.

So far this method has proven to create pretty massive rage in the average Christian I've tested on. I think it's working well.

 

[Anachronous Rex]

I've always wanted to create a religion centered around the Persian God Ahriman.

Ahriman is, in Zoroastrianism, the oppose number to Ahura Mazda - the creator. Ahriman is, therefore, in most interpretations considered to be evil; however, there is at least one in which he is viewed not as a malevolent force, but as an amoral and reactionary aspect of the universe. The argument goes (more or less) as thus:
When Ahura Mazda created everything he - in essence - cheated. Existence is not the natural state of reality, the equation is unbalanced. Ahriman, therefore, is the name we give to the entropic forces that would, left to their own devises, return reality to balance and nothingness. Only through the will of Ahura Mazda is he held at bay.

Now, it is a good think that Ahura Mazda does this, otherwise all would return to nothingness. That is, it would be a good thing unless you happen to be of the opinion that existence is in some way a bad thing. Look to, for instance, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Manichaeism, and that's exactly the understanding one would have.

Thusly reinterpreted: Ahriman is the obvious good guy , a benevolent force of the universe that seeks to restore balance and oneness. While the malevolent Ahura Mazda seeks to hold us entrapped in this accursed cycle of flesh.



That's the foundation anyway... I'd still have to work out the more technical dogmas of course.

 

[Yfelsung]

You'll find that many old religions when being documented later by Christians always end up getting a "Good/Evil" slant to them.

Loki ended up getting a pretty bad rap in Norse myth when recorded by irish monks but he was originally just more of a trickster.

Likely the same thing happened to that Ahriman fellow over the years. You find many ancient religions are much more amoral than the Abrahamic ones.

 

[Anachronous Rex]

You'll find that many old religions when being documented later by Christians always end up getting a "Good/Evil" slant to them.

Loki ended up getting a pretty bad rap in Norse myth when recorded by irish monks but he was originally just more of a trickster.

Likely the same thing happened to that Ahriman fellow over the years. You find many ancient religions are much more amoral than the Abrahamic ones.

Zoroastrianism isn't distorted with a "Good/Evil" slant. Zoroastrianism is where the "Good/Evil" slant comes from.

 

[YesIAMJames]

Couple of ideas if you like them.

Your God created dinosaurs in his own image. Satan was an ape instead of a snake and created human's ancestors (that evolved) and killed all of god's dinosaurs (except for Nessy the chosen one). Godasaurus then gave us souls because we became the dominant species but created hell as a punishment for all the ape-men unless they obeyed all of his wacky non-sense rules.

 

[lrkun]

Couple of ideas if you like them.

Your God created dinosaurs in his own image. Satan was an ape instead of a snake and created human's ancestors (that evolved) and killed all of god's dinosaurs (except for Nessy the chosen one). Godasaurus then gave us souls because we became the dominant species but created hell as a punishment for all the ape-men unless they obeyed all of his wacky non-sense rules.

>.< Don't get satan involved in this. We always read that satan's the bad guy. In his behalf, let some other be considered the enemy.

 

[Skooge]

What will the Jesus replacement be? I can't imagine a spoof of the Bible without a Jesus spoof. It would also be nice to have a chapter devoted to teaching how to dodge questions.

 

[TheFearmonger]

What will the Jesus replacement be? I can't imagine a spoof of the Bible without a Jesus spoof. It would also be nice to have a chapter devoted to teaching how to dodge questions.

Raptor jesus could eat the nonbelieving. No need to dodge questions

 

[YesIAMJames]

Please please please, we HAVE to make this a "real" religion, it'll wind the fundies up so much. I'll even turn the creation story in to an animation.

P.S thanks for the sub Fearmonger