Astrology - I am fed up!

[Kattarina98]

I bet it happens to you, too:
Go to any social event where you meet new people, and right at the beginning of the conversation they will ask you: "So what sign of the zodiac are you?" Formerly I answered that I was not superstitious which led to booooring discussions. :evil:

Lately I claim to be "a fox - I happen to follow the Celtic Astrology" which gives me the opportunity to pull peoples' legs for quite some time before they get on to me.

But seriously: Do you know a sure-fire putdown to make these persons shut up right at the beginning before I have to defend my point yet again?

 

[MachineSp1rit]

"gtfo" sounds good for me

 

[PuppetXeno]

I don't know, zodiac stuff is just a trivial cultural thing (where horoscope is it's fundamentalist side)... It can be fun trying to guess someone's zodiac sign... Kinda like a social game with some psychological probing involved... Don't forget, people who value the zodiac archetypes actually live to the descriptors, to a small degree, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[WolfAU]

People are idiots, this seems to be an inevitable trait of humanity, no matter how much we educate society, there seems to be a fairly regular distribution of 'bat shit crazy' around the middle.

Most people are bored and find things like astrology to have some appeal (like a lottery ticket for your soul), their tiny brains are just not up to dealing with having to make up complex philosophical stances if they were to accept 'no God, no spirits no fate'.

An example that pops into my mind of what I'm talking about is a woman I knew who became dissatisfied with christianity, but clearly not prepared to embrace naturalism, and as such very quickly embraced a variety of spiritual beliefs.

That said as far as crazy shit going around, astrology is on the more harmless side. I usually don't encounter these kind of questions that often (I take great care not to travel in circles which attract such people), but when I do I usually answer truthfully (Leo), and then guage if they put any weight into that stuff. If they do I usually will usually just politely leave after a while.

 

[Kattarina98]

I don't know, zodiac stuff is just a trivial cultural thing (where horoscope is it's fundamentalist side)... It can be fun trying to guess someone's zodiac sign... Kinda like a social game with some psychological probing involved... Don't forget, people who value the zodiac archetypes actually live to the descriptors, to a small degree, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Self fulfilling prophecy - that's exactly one of the reasons why astrology is not harmless. A friend of mine has educated her daughter to correspond to her zodiac sign. - Besides, I remember one of our Chancellors (= prime minister) who went to an astrologer before making important decisions.

 

[Aught3]

^ Yeah, didn't JF Kennedy do the same thing?
That's like flipping a coin to determine major policy - scary indeed.

 

[ebbixx]

But seriously: Do you know a sure-fire putdown to make these persons shut up right at the beginning before I have to defend my point yet again?

I really think you're on the right track with the "Fox" thing. But you could change it up now and then by claiming to believe in ritual human sacrifice or some other gruesome "old time religion." I suppose the choice all depends on how badly you want to alienate your new acquaintance.

You could try changing the subject to astronomy, maybe memorizing some choice tidbits about particularly interesting stars within each of the zodiac constellations, or (if the light pollution's not too bad where you are) actually pointing out the constellation in question, talking about the ecliptic or something similar.

Then again, maybe he/she just wants to have sex with you and you should let it pass?

 

[Aluman]

^ Yeah, didn't JF Kennedy do the same thing?
That's like flipping a coin to determine major policy - scary indeed.

I don't know if JFK did, but Nancy would consult the various 1-900 pyschics before making decisions during one of Ron's infirmaries.

 

[GoodKat]

Say: "I don't know what my sign is, I find astronomy far too fascinating to sully it with astrology.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

Make up a sign, tell them a little about you, and then when they tell you that you match the traits of sign X, tell them that you are really sign Y... and after you let them try to justify themselves for a few minutes, claim that you are totally sign Z, and let them know that their entire worldview is a steaming pile of dog turds.

 

[Aught3]

I find that a lot Z's lie about their sign.

 

[ImprobableJoe]

I find that a lot Z's lie about their sign.

lol'Z

 

[Th1sWasATriumph]

I would say that, with the constantly growing confirmed number of both dwarf planets in this solar system (Eris, Makemake, Quaoar, Sedna et al - go and research "dwarf planets", it's fascinatin') and all manner of planets outside it, it seems ridiculous to allow my personality to be decided on such a vague and arbitrary construct as "What planets were known to exist before the birth of modern astronomy even though our knowledge has been updated constantly since then".

I would then slap them and tell them to sort their fucking life out.

 

[Josan]

Say: "I don't know what my sign is, I find astronomy far too fascinating to sully it with astronomy.

Typo? Surely you meant to type "sully it with astrology"? If not, I am confused...

 

[Gnug215]

I bet it happens to you, too:
Go to any social event where you meet new people, and right at the beginning of the conversation they will ask you: "So what sign of the zodiac are you?" Formerly I answered that I was not superstitious which led to booooring discussions. :evil:

Lately I claim to be "a fox - I happen to follow the Celtic Astrology" which gives me the opportunity to pull peoples' legs for quite some time before they get on to me.

But seriously: Do you know a sure-fire putdown to make these persons shut up right at the beginning before I have to defend my point yet again?

I haven't tried this many times, but here are some suggestions I thought up:

1: I'm still waiting for the peer-reviewed papers on that... (in the more serious end)

2: The aliens don't support astrology.

3: Astrology is a grand conspiracy by the government, the Illuminati and Free-Masons to keep people in check. Oh, also, we never landed on the moon, I killed JFK, and Niburu is coming!

4: I'm a tiger! Roaaar!

5: My shrink told me not to discuss this with anyone.

6: The horse is a ferocious predator!


I hope that helps!
I do like your "fox" approach, btw.

 

[CupOfWater]

I don't see what's wrong with zodiac signs. I just don't like horoscopes.

 

[GoodKat]

Typo? Surely you meant to type "sully it with astrology"? If not, I am confused...

Oh Yah thnx.

 

[Kattarina98]

Thank you all - I laughed so hard I spilt tea over my keyboard! I think I shall follow all of your recommendations depending on whom I am talking to.

 

[Pulsar]

The funniest aspect of astrology is the very fortuitous correlation between planet names and their influence. Mars brings passion, violence and courage. Venus governs art, beaty and of course, love. Well, how convienent. Of course, astrologists could argue that the planets got their names after their influence was noted ("don't underestimate the knowledge of the Ancients!"). But that doesn't work for the planets discovered in modern times, which were named by scientists. And what are their characteristics? From http://www.astrology.com:

Neptune

Much about this Planet is fluid, changeable and illusory in nature. Dreams, illusion, abstract thought and the mysterious are all governed by Neptune. Neptune invites us to let its energy wash over us and to use a meditative state to gain insights and heightened awareness.

Gee, who would've thought. But then, since distance and size are apparently not important in astrology, and since Pluto is now officially a minor planet, surely all other minor planets should have an influence as well? Now, as most minor planets are named after famous people (here's a list), this becomes a very entertaining game. I wonder, what would be the influence of these minor planets?

-Tutenchamun: as a child of rich parents, you are a spoiled brat. Thanks to daddy, you will become important at a young age. However, you'll die very young, in suspicous circumstances. But no worries, your grave will be extremely luxurious and cast a curse on anyone who opens it.
-Pythagoras: you have a talent for maths. But you're also drawn to mysticism, possibly starting your own cult. You hate beans.
-Mendel: you shall rest in peas.
-Ratzinger: you are deeply religious. Or rather, you pretend to be, because power is far more important to you. You think holy water can help earthquake victims. You have a phobia for condoms.
-Pollock: you think you have artistic talent. Luckily for you, some people are stupid enough to think the same.
-Enya: you have a unique talent for putting people to sleep with your voice.
-Don Quixote: you're a loser. Stay away from windmills.
-Randi: you pwn pseudoscientists!

Interestingly, there's a minor planet called Jonstewart, yet no Colbert. Outrageous!

P.S. On a different note, some cunning astrologists will say that planets have no physical influence, but that their positions are rather indicators, like some sort of cosmic clock. Correlation, but no causation. Of course, that doesn't explain all of the above.

 

[irmerk]

Make up a sign, tell them a little about you, and then when they tell you that you match the traits of sign X, tell them that you are really sign Y... and after you let them try to justify themselves for a few minutes, claim that you are totally sign Z, and let them know that their entire worldview is a steaming pile of dog turds.

The mother of the family I lived with in high school happened to be into astrology, and this is practically the exact method I used.

It reminds me of those dumb color quizzes, "What color are you?" If you read the descriptions of all the colors, you can be any of them, thus defeating the purpose of the fucking thing. So, yeah, when they would say, "Oh, you were born in April, you're a Aries (Or whatever the fuck April is)," I would ask, "What does it say about me?" Then, of course, they would read the description in their fucking big-ass astrology book of me. "Well," I would say, "I don't think that really sounds like me at all... When you read John's description, since he is a Libra, I think I fit into that group!"

Just wait and watch them try to justify why you are an Aries.