g-off
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This is the first chapter of a novel I'm working on. tell me what you think of it, and please, be honest.
Chapter 1
Death
Jacob Krieger despised the smell of napalm, in the morning or otherwise. He'd smelled more of it in the seventeen years he'd been alive than most soldiers do in their entire lifetimes, but it never got any less sickening. Perhaps it wasn't the smell so much as it was the way his brain automatically associated it with the hideous screams of"¦ no, it'd be best to derail that particular train of thought. Regardless of the cause, the fact of the matter was that the smell of burnt or burning napalm left a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach that lingered long after he'd left the battlefield, not that he was going to be leaving anytime soon.
Jacob had a mission to perform, and unfortunately that mission entailed stepping over the charred bodies strewn across the streets, past the remains of those people's houses, burnt to a crisp and bathed in the light of early morning, to confirm the termination of a particularly slippery target. Jacob couldn't see how anyone could have eluded the blaze of white flames that had engulfed the small industrial revolution era town, but orders were orders and aside from that the target was a-
"Shit!"
Jacob blurted out the expletive as a blazing 5-ton truck flew at him out of a nearby alleyway. Acting mostly on instinct, he quickly whipped out his blade and cleaved the flaming wreck cleanly in two. The two halves of the truck missed him by inches, the flames licking at his midnight black cloak as they flew past.
Jacob made his way toward the alley, taunting his quarry as he moved; "You must want to be caught, Jackson. I know that you're nowhere near stupid enough to believe that you could kill me like that."
His mark responded in a thick Brooklyn accent "Back da hell off, Krieger, I'm not goin' back wit 'chu!"
"I'm not here to take you back. Brass can't risk having a potential turncoat walking around with all the juicy secrets you have in your head."
For a while there was silence, then, in a shaky voice, came the reply.
"You mean dey sen 'chu-"
"To kill you, yes."
"And there's no way you could-"
"Just let you go? You know my reputation, Jackson, I've never missed a target, and I'm not ending that streak with a traitor like you."
"Well, if dat's da way it's gonna be, den I guess I'll jus hafta kill ya."
With this, Robert Jackson jumped from the darkened alleyway, ready to crush Krieger's skull with his powerful telekinetic abilities. He looked around for a moment, trying to discern his enemy's location. Unfortunately, as Krieger's skeletal hands wrapped around his neck, Jackson realized that his enemy had other plans.
"How da hell?"
"I threw my voice. In my line of work it's a good trick to know."
"Goddamn phasers! I should have"¦"
"Well you didn't, and now..."
There was a crackling noise and the smell of burning ozone, then Jackson convulsed and went stiff and his hair stood on end. His heart stopped, his brain shut down, and Robert Jackson ceased to be. Jacob put a finger to his headset and spoke.
"Agent Delta to dispatch; Target has been eliminated"
"Good job, Delta," said the smooth, calming voice on the other end, "Retrieve the head for scanning and return to base."
Jacob sighed and drew his blade. Psycomorphic energy flowed into it through his fleshless arm and the edge morphed and became serrated. As Jacob prepared to get to work the sickening smell of napalm mixed with the knowledge of what he was about to do made him feel decidedly nauseous.
"I hate doing this. I'll bet Aaron never has to put up with this shit."
Aaron Krieger never did have too put up with that shit. In the comfortable cockpit of his destroyer class mech, Ares, the short, dark-haired nineteen year old didn't have to worry about unpleasant things like decapitations. In fact, he didn't to worry about much other than torching stuff. As the hulking crimson robot made the slow march through the field toward the location of the terrorist base, he opened the mission dossier on his view screen and re-read it.
Outline:
At 1600 hours yesterday Sgt. second class Robert Jackson went AWOL. This is particularly urgent for two reasons. Firstly, the Sergeant was in charge of testing for a top-secret new weapon in development by the UR military. Secondly, agents operating within the Vaaldaran borders have reported an individual who matches the sergeant's description heading for the headquarters of suspected terrorist organization Next Step, a group of Xenomorphs who promote the belief that Xenocite induced mutations represent the next level of human evolution. The organization claims to be nothing more than a group of peaceful activists, however, covert investigations have shown links between the group and violent attacks on various organizations promoting the superiority of humans and even a few promoting equality among the races. We have good reason to suspect that if the terrorists gain access to the technology they will use it against innocent civilians. It is imperative that we stop this from happening.
Mission Details:
This is a three tiered operation. Agents tracking Jackson have reported that he has disappeared somewhere in the town of Alvez, thirty kilometres from Next Step's headquarters. Jackson is a powerful Telekinetic and a sensitive, meaning that he will be able to detect the presence of anyone following him. Because of this it will be almost impossible to track him down, and thus we must use a strategy with a wide area of effect. Agent Upsilon will torch the town utilizing the Ares mech, an unfortunate but necessary step. The town is small and most of the buildings date back to the industrial revolution, so burning it down should prove to be easy. Following that, agent Delta will enter the town in uniform and confirm the target's elimination. He will then retrieve the target's head and bring it back for a brainscan. If the scan confirms that Jackson was indeed intending to assist the terrorists, the Ares will move on their base. Flying is not permitted in this mission as it may give the enemy an early warning. The goal in this case is the complete destruction of Next Step. It is vital that this mission be kept a secret from the Vaaldaran government, as it could be considered an act of war if discovered. To this effect, there must not be a single witness left over. Take no prisoners. If any operative spots a live civilian during the mission, they are to kill on sight.
Not the most pleasant mission that Aaron had been on in the past few months, but if the men upstairs deemed it necessary, it was necessary. Besides, Aaron enjoyed a bit of army sanctioned wanton destruction once in a while, and even if a few hundred civvies got caught in the fray, they were saving countless more by keeping the weapon out of the hands of the terrorists.
The Ares continued to move. It was a truly majestic machine. It had a dragon motif to its design, most obvious in the head, which was modelled with a human-like face within the mouth of a dragon head, and was coloured in black and crimson. The build of the mech was vaguely humanoid, though it was so deformed as to look almost cartoony. Its forearms were much bigger than its upper arms and each arm was specialized for a different purpose. The right had large claws equipped with molecular cutters, blades made up of concentrated photons that were capable of cutting at a molecular level. The left was outfitted with a multipurpose cannon that could be used to fire either lasers or to spray chemicals. Its legs were similarly dimensioned, though they served for little more than locomotion. On the back was mounted a large cannon capable of firing a powerful energy beam. The cannon rested on top of an interchangeable tank designed to carry various liquids, and folded up on either side was a large pair of metal wings.
Aaron stopped at the designated wait point - a spot behind a hill about half a kilometre from the terrorist base. It was the closest he could get without being picked up by radar or spotted by a guard. He activated the Ares cloaking matrix, and the molecule thick layer of nanomachines that coated his mech each collaborated to project an image that created the illusion of empty space. He was completely invisible so long as he didn't move and nobody paid too much attention to the two patches of seemingly inexplicably flattened grass where his mech's feet were.
He stayed there for a good ten minutes before the familiar beeping of his communicator reverberated through the Ares cockpit. He switched on the radio and was greeted by the smooth voice of the squad 4-H dispatcher.
"Agent Upsilon, the scan was a negative. Repeat, the scan was a negative. The terrorists are not involved with Jackson. Pull out."
Aaron sighed. He had been looking forward to maiming a few terrorists before lunch.
"Roger that, I am re-"
Just then, a rocket ripped through the field. It seemed that someone had in paid too much attention to the two patches of inexplicably
flattened grass. Apparently, that someone had a mech of their own. The rocket passed over the top of Ares' head by about a foot, frying a patch of nanobots with its tail. Aaron had a bad feeling that the next rocket wouldn't miss.
"Shit! That is a negative. I have been engaged by an enemy unit and am returning fire."
As he said this, Aaron deactivated his cloak and fired a high concentration energy beam at the enemy mech. The pulsating blue beam tore the enemy's cheap, mass produced mech to shreds in a matter of seconds. As its bulky rectangular frame fell to the ground in a ruined heap he heard shouts and a squad of around 50 heavily armed xenomorphs came at him from over the hill, guns blazing. A few were using telekinetic powers to hurl debris or attempt in vain to pick up the Ares. One of the stronger looking titans of the group was effortlessly carrying what appeared to be an anti-armour railgun, and not too far off could be heard the telltale clanking feet of at least five more mecha moving to join the fray. To top it off, the Ares energy reserves had been depleted by the cannon, so all of the weapons were temporarily offline.
Aaron grinned. This was more like it.