Affectusmatrona
New Member
I find introductions awkward. I was raised in christian environment but began questioning things at a relatively young age. I consider the person I was as a young teen to have been able to more eloquently and effectively express her atheism better than the person I am today. As a response to the negative attention I received towards my atheism and my all around openness towards alternative lifestyle I did some very extreme acting out and eventually became a real wild child. Then I started being drawn into the christian lifestyle and ended up also marrying a christian and making babies with him! I stayed a christian(a very intense one) for years. A few years ago my life was in complete shambles and I was faced with a lot of difficult decisions. I got invited to a forum and was confronted with most all of my faulty thinking. Not only was I engulfed in confusing and irrational religious thinking, but my entire way of thinking about humanity was tainted. I did not truly trust anyone, was worried more about what others thought of me than what I knew I wanted to and should be and was extremely vulnerable and needy. The atheists I met online took me under their wing and pretty much beat the crap out of most of my negative and faulty thinking. It took over a year until I finally ended up admitting there was no good reason to believe and no good reason to have a chip on my shoulder. The very things that I was told to be afraid of in life I now take solace in and find comfort in. Many of my practical problems have been solved by de-conversion, simply because I have a better ability to see straight(I can see! I can see!!! LOL) and because I no longer felt the need to stay in the highly toxic marriage(stayed in for guilt towards god and my duty as a woman according to it) I have a much better, more secure life.
Good. That was the short version. I have been very lacking in stimulation lately and it looks like there should be some interesting threads here, so I am very happy to read and hopefully my input is taken well, otherwise know that I have a tendency to go off into space if I am given too much leeway for it and don't mind getting called out on it.
Good. That was the short version. I have been very lacking in stimulation lately and it looks like there should be some interesting threads here, so I am very happy to read and hopefully my input is taken well, otherwise know that I have a tendency to go off into space if I am given too much leeway for it and don't mind getting called out on it.
