Coming out of the Atheism closet (Continued)

[CosmicSpork]

Continuation of a topic from the old forum as requested:

Original post:

Post here if you had to "come out of the closet" with your atheism and how you did it.

Personally, I'm still pretty much hidden in my atheism. My father was a christian school physical science teacher for years. He spent literally hours and days butchering evolutionary theory explaining to me ways that he thought it was illogical and circular to be an "evolutionist". We wrote papers, staged horrible debates with other students, listened to Kent H., etc.

Needless to say, he thinks I'm a Christian.

I have expressed my "belief" --if i have to refer to it in that way-- in evolution, but that's as far as we've gone.

Go ahead, tell me your stories.

You can read the original topic and posts here.

 

[Nemesis]

At about 14 I became an atheist, told my family, friends, etc., mix reactions, but now they are all pretty OK with it.

 

[Elypsis]

I've openly said that I'm an atheist to everybody but my family. However they know I no longer believe in God, I only go to church one easter and christmas to prevent a fight with my mom and even then I openly make jokes all mass. Ex. This easter the priest opened the mass by saying "Easter comes once a year" To which I blurted out on impulse "Bullshit"

 

[Rivius]

I've never actually said it out loud, though I've given strong hints to both my parents through little discussions on how we view religion. Neither of them really care, and my father encourages me to think for myself. But I can't help but think they feel I'm more agnostic than atheist, as I never truly came out.

But, I admit I am a bit of a coward. I've never told any of my friends. See, I live in a society when people are very, very religious as well as very ignorant. I'm not trying to insult them with the ignorant comment - where I live, there truly are people who do not have good education or are not exposed to many ideas.
Now, this places me in a group of people who all despise atheists. Infact, I even remember some of my closests friends speaking badly about an atheist teacher they had and that always sort of hurt me. I never told them, because I feel they may very well begin to detach themselves from me, and quite honestly, it isn't ever really relevant so I never felt the need to.

It is pretty saddening however, I need friends, I need support. So I simply sidestep the topic as much as possible as long as I can. Although, it is a little hurtful to think that a simple disagreement in beliefs will cause my friends to turn on me. Even if they still accept me, I'll know that they'll secretly be exchanging cruel words behind my back and may even silenty decide against including me in certain things.


Boy, I need a strawberry milk shake right about now...

 

[snarf66]

I've never really talked about it with people. It's just been a non-issue. The only people I've ever really talked about it in person are my mom and my sister. I have no idea what my dad believes, but he's never talked about religion anyway. My mom is clearly an atheist, as she has told me herself. My sister and I have had these philosophical discussions about religion and we agree on everything, so I know she's an atheist. My paternal grandparents are very devout Christians, but I've never said anything to them about my atheism. They've never asked me to say grace, but they've asked all my cousins to. I can only assume that my parents have told them that they were raising my sister and I to make our own decision about religion.

I currently live in a country where religion is not a big issue. Japan is nice that way, because no one cares what religion others are. I've been asked if I'm a Christian, because I'm from Canada, but I say I'm not. They don't press, as the Japanese consider personal privacy to be very important, and they respect it.

 

[GoodKat]

I currently live in a country where religion is not a big issue. Japan is nice that way, because no one cares what religion others are. I've been asked if I'm a Christian, because I'm from Canada, but I say I'm not. They don't press, as the Japanese consider personal privacy to be very important, and they respect it.

Sounds awesome.

 

[snarf66]

Sounds awesome.

It is I find I'm quite comfortable here.

 

[Otokogoroshi]

It is I find I'm quite comfortable here.

So jealous.

I'm shocked that the state I live in (Arizona) is amazingly religious. Makes me very sad.

I'm not an atheist but very agnostic. Yes I watch those ghost story programs but purely as entertainment. Do I personally believe in ghosts? Sure. But not in the traditional way nor do I expect anyone else to ascribe to my belief system! I tend to think critically first and have for a long time. I was never faithful and only went to church when my mom tried to get me and my brothers to go... it didn't work... or with a few friends. I read the bible when I was 8 and thought it was bullshit!

Its odd that I worry so much about being judged by my looks and such but have no issue with people thinking less of me for my beliefs... or lack thereof! Their loss

 

[Kattarina98]

Perhaps this is the wrong forum - so just disregard this comment if it doesn't fit.

Here in Europe no-one cares if you are an atheist. But I meet with - well, hostilitiy is too strong a word, but a lot of persons regard me as very strange indeed when I confess that I do not believe in the following:
- Astrology
- Chinese medicine
- homoepathy
- Tarot reading
- Indian gurus who can levitate
- psychic channelling ...

So, quite often I can't muster the courage to come out of that closet, I just shut up.

 

[Josan]

I'm from europe, so nobody really cares what you belive. I guess it's more of a problem to stand out as a practicing christian than an atheist!

Same as Kattarina98 though, some people still react when I laugh at homoepathy and similar.

 

[Möbiµs]

But, I admit I am a bit of a coward. I've never told any of my friends. See, I live in a society when people are very, very religious as well as very ignorant. I'm not trying to insult them with the ignorant comment - where I live, there truly are people who do not have good education or are not exposed to many ideas.
Now, this places me in a group of people who all despise atheists. Infact, I even remember some of my closests friends speaking badly about an atheist teacher they had and that always sort of hurt me. I never told them, because I feel they may very well begin to detach themselves from me, and quite honestly, it isn't ever really relevant so I never felt the need to.
It is pretty saddening however, I need friends, I need support. So I simply sidestep the topic as much as possible as long as I can. Although, it is a little hurtful to think that a simple disagreement in beliefs will cause my friends to turn on me. Even if they still accept me, I'll know that they'll secretly be exchanging cruel words behind my back and may even silenty decide against including me in certain things.

That's really sad. I hope you eventually find likeminded people, and if you don't, I strongly encourage you to move. In the meantime, you'll always have this forum .

I've openly said that I'm an atheist to everybody but my family. However they know I no longer believe in God, I only go to church one easter and christmas to prevent a fight with my mom and even then I openly make jokes all mass. Ex. This easter the priest opened the mass by saying "Easter comes once a year" To which I blurted out on impulse "Bullshit"

I'm in the exact same situation! Recently the priest in our church criticised technology for some reason, and I did the "face palm" move out of embarrassment, because he was saying it in a microphone.

I grew up in a deeply religious family. We belonged to a minority of Christians in a Muslim country before immigrating to Europe. This makes me think that the community probably needed its faith to survive.

Anyhow, I was into science from a very young age and I knew early on that a Judaeo-Christian god didn't make any sense. The thing that kept me believing was superstition. My mom in particular would say the craziest things about trivial crap like; "don't eat while standing up, Satan will come and steal your food from you". You might take this type of thing lightly, but believe me, sometimes this stuff can scare the shit out of a ten year old.

After many discussions with my mom, she now knows that I don't believe. She went nuts at first, but nowadays she doesn't really care, after convincing her that religion isn't needed to be a decent and moral human being. My dad doesn't really believe in a god, but he's into ghosts, telepathy and other similar pseudoscience mumbo-jumbo. Many awkward talks occur sometimes, with me just finishing it off with, "dad stop, just stop".

I live in Sweden, so you probably know how easy it is for a convert like me, since about 90% of the population is atheistic. It's still hard sometimes to be with my relatives though. I genuinely have to brace myself sometimes before blurting out, "what a load of crap!"

EDIT: I was however semi-religious at around 18 after a very close friend committed suicide, but at the end, it has strengthened my views and I have now more or less embraced death (of course I still fear it) instead of hoping for an afterlife.

 

[Code]

Eh, why not.

I came out when I was 15, a day after I had deconverted completely from the Christian doctrine. I wasn't really thinking when I did so, I was extremely confused by everything I had come to believe, and was unprepared to answer their questions. My mom freaked out at me, saying I was just being rebellious, but that had nothing to do with it for me. I just could not simply believe in god anymore. My early teens had been a spiral of confusion due to Christianity, I wanted to accept god with all my heart, but was unable to logically, and at the time I believed most anything anyone told me, so I was always confused during that time period. I tried to believe, but failed epically and ended up riding on the faith argument. I had never even considered atheism as a possible viewpoint until the day I converted, so back to the story. I was in a state of severe confusion and vulnerability due to lack of knowledge of it, and their questions scarred me emotionally. It hurts to have your parents tell you that you believe something due to rebellion against them. Looking back I understand the affect my "coming out" had on them, and how it must of hurt my mom especially. I then gave my thoughts to my closest friends, and they told me none of them believed in god, and that was a relief and perhaps a miracle for me, especially in an area like the Bible Belt. I was still unprepared for the implications my atheism would have in such an area. I categorized myself as a weak atheist at the time, but then I started to run into religious nuts. My awesome teacher made us debate philosophy, and at one point one girl used the argument that the philosophers didn't believe in god, so she didn't want to hear about them. I did an involuntary facepalm, and then the class clown gave the remark that I was probably an atheist, and to this I responded yes, of course. I was bombarded with questions and inquiries. Many of which I was stumped about. I thus became a knowledge buff, hording in all the skeptic arguments and examples of the wrongs of religion I could hold. The most embarrassing thing was when the FOC (Followers of Christ), a school sponsored group, prayed for me. Thus I am at where I am today, a theology and philosophy buff looking for more to learn.

 

[Jotto999]

With a deist mother and an atheist father, there was no "coming out of the atheist closet" that took place, I never felt pressure to hide my atheism. I have relatives that don't approve of my atheism as they are Catholics, but I don't really care about their opinions. In my immediate family, there was no pressure. EDIT: Oh yeah, one other thing, I live in Ontario, Canada, and here most people don't care if you're an atheist.

This reminds me of a different thread,

http://forums.leagueofreason.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=577

I don't hold back just to avoid stepping on their absurd beliefs. While my aim is not to purposely offend, that of course will happen, but that's not my fault.

At family gatherings and stuff like that, I just act like myself. By trying to cover up my difference from them, I feel I would only be subtly perpetuating religion's dominating and unjust nature.

I do not say the prayers, I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. That to me is just silly. My beliefs are perfectly reasonable, especially when compared to theirs, if they cannot accept it, it says nothing about me and lots about them - close relative or not.

If anyone brings up the subject about my atheism and my lack of participation in religious activities, I simply tell them like it is. It's not like they can say anything I can't refute. There is nothing to be afraid of - and if they hate me for being different, the problem is not at my end, and I'm not going to pretend it is.

"Hey [insert-close-relative's-name], do you think it makes sense for individuals to pretend to be of the same beliefs as the traditional majority at family gatherings? Me neither."

I rarely get bothered after saying something roughly along those lines.

 

[Trigshot]

Heh. I had to reveal that I was an Atheist to my mother about 6 months ago, when I had been an Atheist for almost two years. Her first reaction was more than I had expected, so much that I could have mistaken her for a devout Christian. Because we never went to church very much anyway, I assumed it wouldn't be a big deal.

My other family members were aware enough to simply figure out that I was a man of science, and for the most part agreed with the facts.

Since then, my mom has accepted my status as an Atheist, even though she still has her gullibility. I try not to poke fun at her beliefs because she respects mine. It is very hard though, because her beliefs are the very essence of contradictory to science. She believes in ghosts, psychics, and an afterlife, I'm just not sure if she follows Jesus. It really pains me that I have such a scientific mind that sees right through the people who she believes to be psychic. When I ever do make a comment, she tells me that I'm too over analytical, and that not everything can be explained.

It could have been worse, I know, but does anyone have any advice on how to get some science and intellect into her head? Whenever I try to explain something to her, she dismisses it as though it were the ranting nonsense of a psychic.

 

[Joe]

I stopped believing in god six months or so ago, and haven't really told many people. I don't talk about religion that often, and it doesn't come up. Right now, for the most part, if I meet new people, I'll just say I'm "not really religious". I've told my friends though, and they weren't too surprised. It was more like, "oh, that's new". At least two of my friends are out atheists and one is a hardly-believing Jew. And I always mock religion when it is deserving.

I haven't told my parents yet, and I'll probably tell them this week. I'm going home for summer break, and I haven't been to church since i visited them for spring break. I doubt my mom will care much, and while my dad will probably be a little upset, I know they'll both accept me. I'm going to have fun with it though. I've been going to school in Colorado Springs - the Evangelical HQ of the USA. And I just got back from Florida, where I counted 7 churches in the 3 mile stretch from my hotel to a restaurant. I'm going to take them both aside and tell them that "I've found Jesus", that i've been bathed in the blood &c. Tell them about my conversion to fundie-ism, and ask them if they'd like to see the light too. And then I'll say "Nah, just fucking with you, I'm an atheist." I'll post what actually happens soon.

And a bit off topic:

Perhaps this is the wrong forum - so just disregard this comment if it doesn't fit.

Here in Europe no-one cares if you are an atheist. But I meet with - well, hostility is too strong a word, but a lot of persons regard me as very strange indeed when I confess that I do not believe in the following:
- Astrology
- Chinese medicine
- homeopathy
- Tarot reading
- Indian gurus who can levitate
- psychic channelling ....

Wow. While the USA is infested with religion, at least we don't have that homeopathy bullshit on such a large scale. It astounds me that anyone can believe in that after they are explained the concepts (ie. less than one molecule of the original substance). Although I guess that was my reaction when I first heard about creationism. I suggest you check out Ben Goldacre's book Bad Science - it's very well written, and really helped me understand how people pull the wool over others' eyes.

 

[nasher168]

Perhaps this is the wrong forum - so just disregard this comment if it doesn't fit.

Here in Europe no-one cares if you are an atheist. But I meet with - well, hostilitiy is too strong a word, but a lot of persons regard me as very strange indeed when I confess that I do not believe in the following:
- Astrology
- Chinese medicine
- homoepathy
- Tarot reading
- Indian gurus who can levitate
- psychic channelling ...

So, quite often I can't muster the courage to come out of that closet, I just shut up.

Woah. Where in Europe do you live? I have never met a single person who believes in any of those things.

I-like so many in the UK-never had to come out of any closet, since there never was one in the first place. My Dad is openly Atheist (to the extent that he was ready to march into school and demand to know why RS was a compulsory subject-we calmed him down by informing him it wasn't really that religiously-based) and my Mum is unsure, but has atheistic leanings. I have never come across religious bigotry (except one occasion when I was in Hull and some fat woman was telling the street how we're all hell bound-everywhere I looked, people were laughing) and for that I feel quite fortunate.

 

[Epicion]

I'm going to the university of Hull don't scare me >.>

-L

 

[nasher168]

It was outside Mcdonald's, en route from St Stephen's to Princes Quay. Activists and religious types like to gather there quite often.

 

[Durakken]

I find I'm in a weird situation on this in some senses of it. I've told 2 people in my family thus far and I will tell others when I think that it is either best or it won't suck to have a horrible reaction or if it comes up, but it's a odd situation because my parents would never get what theism and atheism is, nor do they have any real understanding of religion or anything else in general so while they don't bother me about it and i don't bring it up, it is not because of them being accepting or not or anything like that, but rather that it is a bit of a pointless discussion. This goes for a number of my other family members as well, not just my parents. I have a pretty unintelligent family, sadly.

On the other hand I know at least 1 or 2 of my family if they found out would quip at me quite a bit because i have said 'I am an atheist' at a family gathering, but it was during a me telling a story about someone else and they thought i was was saying that I was saying I as in me.

I've told 1 person in my family that understands the concept and all and was fine with it and another that will never comprehend it. The only other person I'd really care to tell is my grandfather and it's not advisable at the moment to do so simply because of my situation.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not hiding it. It just never comes up in the sense that they don't ask, but a number of other things do come up and I have always held th same beliefs about. It's just i didn't label it atheism nor did it go much beyond me joking and them shutting up so meh.